RWBY's Toon

Forest Of Insanity

Y/N POV

Here we are in a new chapter. For this one I'm walking through the Forest of Forever Fall being led by my future baby mama Glynda.

Glynda: "I know the Forest is indeed beautiful, but we're not here to sightsee. Professor Peach-"

Y/N: *to readers* "I didn't know Mario's girlfriend got a teaching degree."

Glynda: "In order to gather the sap needed you'll need to head deeper into the forest. Be sure to stay by your teammates because this forest is teeming with Grimm. We'll-"

Y/N: "Wait!!!!"

I hold out my arms to keep everyone from moving. I lean down and pick up something magical.

Y/N: "I've finally found it, after years of searching it's finally mine."

Weiss: "It's just a leaf."

Y/N: "Poor frosty the snow skank. This right here is the world's crunchiest leaf. With the smallest amount of pressure its crunch will be heard around the world. Many men have spent their lives searching for the perfect leaf, but I am the one to have found the holy grail of leaves."

I show Ruby who eyes it with eyes full of wonder. I pull out a box and gently set the leaf inside. After locking it I hand the box to Ruby.

Y/N: "Dear Ruby, I entrust this holiest of objects to you."

Ruby: *salutes* "I'll guard it with my very life!"

Y/N: "Only when life seems bleak will you crunch the leaf. Do that and I'll appear with the rage of a fiery demon."

Ruby: "Aye aye captain."

I smile when again my attention is pulled to something.

Y/N: "Weiss, don't you dare fucking move."

I walk to her causing her to stiffen. I bring my hand closer causing her to flinch. I grab the gold colored frog off her shoulder and place it in a jar with holes poked in the top. 

Weiss: "What the hell just happened?"

Y/N: "What? A man's gotta have a hobby. Mine's collecting frogs."

Glynda: "Back to the topic at hand, meet back here at four."

I walk away from everyone and collect my sap. When that's done I walk to watch Cardin get his taints handed to him. I get there and pull an Ursa Major out of my pocket.

Y/N: "Beat the asshole to a pulp."

UM: *thick Russian accent* "Rodger comrade mmm vodka." 

He rushes to Cardin and knocks him onto his back. I throw out several lawn chairs and make several bowls of popcorn. Jaune, Pyrrha, Ruby and Weiss sit down and begin watching the show I'm hosting.

Weiss: "I wanna see some body parts!!"

Y/N: *to readers* "If only gladiator fights were still a thing."

I look back at Cardin to see him withdrawing his mace. Luckily Pyrrha uses her semblance to flick his weapon away.

Cardin: "Assholes!!!"

UM: "Come dickhead, fight za Ursa."

Ursa Major runs at Cardin and claws open his chest plate. Cardin falls onto his back becoming victim to a series of rapid claw strikes.

Y/N: "Come on Cardin, quit taking your beating like a bitch! These people wanna see a fight!"

Cardin springs to his feet and begins punching the Ursa Major's chest. Unfortunately for him it has no affect. The Ursa Major smiles and smites Cardin into the ground. When the Ursa Major readies his claws Glynda fires a beam killing the Ursa Major.

UM: "Tell my story."

He fades to dust while I lower my head and pour one out for him.

Y/N: "Rest in peace brother."

I get out of my lawn chair and head with the others to Beacon. The very next day I walk with team RWBY down the streets of Vale.

Weiss: "The Vytal Festival, what a wonderful thing."

Y/N: *to readers* "I wonder how many times the author can write that until he goes insane."

Ruby: "It's kinda creepy seeing you smile so much."

Y/N: *wipes tear* "Damn, my little rebel's growing up so fast."

Weiss: "Why aren't you smiling? There's gonna be everything from dances to a tournament. The amount of planning is enough to make me blush."

Y/N: *to readers* "I now feel bad for whoever marries her."

Yang: "Way to make tournaments boring."

Weiss: "Oh shut up."