The third ballad (Kingdom's Louis Fanficiton)

10 - An honest talk

I shivered and wrapped my jacket tighter around my body. I was drenched. Thinking that Leedo would drive me home made me decide against an umbrella or warmer clothes. Slowly the cold crept into my bones. However, I didn't care. Walking at first, I started to run at some point. And then I felt tears on my face, almost unnoticeable because of the rain. And now I sat on this climbing frame on an empty playground, waiting for nothing in particular. I wiped away the tears and sweared unconsciously. I didn't want to go back to their dorm, but I soon would have to. Even worse that I was all alone. I shouldn't have told Dongsik to get lost, but I couldn't bear to see him. "Stupid responsibilty", I mumbled to myself, "Why can't I just leave everything and everyone and start all over?" Suddenly the rain stopped falling on me. I looked up puzzled and saw an umbrella. Following the arm that was holding it, I recognized Dongsik. I huffed and turned back again. "I told you to get lost", I sniffed. "I know you will probably hate me for the rest of your life now, but I don't want you to get sick", he said softly and I felt new tears forming in my eyes. I stared at the ground. "I will leave again if you want me to. I can stay and shut up the whole time as well, but at least let me make sure you're safe. Please, don't send me away, I would be worried all the time until you're home too. And Seungbo will kill me if something happens", he continued. I was silent. Suddenly I felt something warm on my shoulders. Looking back, I realized that he had draped his jacket around me. I glared at him while he looked at the floor, nervously. "Please, you're getting sick. Accept my hoodie already", he mumbled. "That's a jacket, you dumbass", I snapped back. Stupid pride, I scolded myself. Why was I like this? He just meant well and I made him feel bad. That also wasn't fair towards him. I got into his jacket properly but crossed my arms over my chest right afterwards. "Thanks", he said, "I guess, I'll leave then. Seems like you really don't want me around." He fixed the umbrella on the climbing frame so that I didn't get wet and sighed as he turned around. To hell with my pride.

"If you leave without the umbrella, you'll get wet and maybe sick, too", I grumbled. I heard his footsteps halting. "So?", he asked. "Aish, get here already, you idiot", I snapped, "If you get sick, the company will be mad. If I let you leave and something happens, Seungbo will kill you. And therefore, the company will kill me as well. No matter how I look at it, I can only lose if I let you go now." Dongsik came back. "Can I... Can I sit down as well?", he asked carefully. "Do whatever you want", I answered grumpily. Stop being mad, I told myself, it won't do any good. Dongsik took a seat with enough space to where I sat. I rolled my eyes. "Are you doing it on purpose?", I hissed. He looked at me with big eyes. "Come closer. You're gonna get drenched and I already told you that this could get me in trouble", I explained impatiently. He cautiously scooted closer. I huffed. "You know what?", he suddenly snapped, "I am trying to be nice to you here but you're all hostile and stuff. I can't do anything right now, can I? I don't deserve to be treated like that and I also don't want to. Listen, I know I did wrong and I am sorry, but I can't do more than I already do! I didn't mean to make it seem like it's your fault! I didn't mean to overdo it that much! All I wanted to say is that I was too freaking shy to ask about it because everybody seems to avoid the topic! How should I address it as someone who barely knows you by now, huh?" He almost shouted now, gesturing wildly while I was staring at the floor. I knew I was guilty as well. And that I was being too proud once again. "Whatever", he hissed and turned to walk away again.

"Do you know", I began as I heard how he indeed started to move away. He stopped and I turned around, my tears starting to fall again. But this time it wasn't because I was angry or mad at myself. This time it was because I was about to let go and tell him. Because I was ready to remember all this again. "Do you know", I repeated, maintaining the eye contact, "how much stress can affect someone?" His anger seemed to melt away in an instant and he came back, sitting down right next to me this time. He didn't say a word, just looked at me. He sensed that he shouldn't interrupt me now. I took a deep breath and started to tell him my story. All of it.