She Can't Love You by: ART

A Woman Like Me

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Title: Re: She Can't Love You

Post by: ART on February 21, 2008, 04:00:55 AM

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A Woman Like Me

After leaving Solo I walked downstairs to find Juelz lying in his bed watching the Rugrats. He turned and looked at me when he heard me lightly tap at the door. "Bee Bee", he said sitting up and reaching his hands out for a hug. "Hey baby, come here. Bee Bee wants to talk to you about something", I said sitting down beside him and pulling him into my lap.

"What?" he asked curiously, shrugging his shoulders and putting up his hands, he was too cute. "I want to talk to you about what happened earlier with mommy and daddy", I said waiting for his reaction. "He not my daddy, I no like him", he said crossing his arms and raising his voice. He was just like me when I was younger tryna have a temper tantrum.

"Juelz baby, Bee Bee just wants to make sure you're okay", I said hugging him. "I fine", he answered. "Are you sure, are you confused about what you saw", I said I didn't really know how I was supposed to talk to a toddler about abuse but it's unhealthy to not speak about it at all and make him think everything's fine. "No I saw him hitting mommy and I wanted to help her", he said sweetly.

"You know it's bad for a man to hit a girl, right?", I asked looking in his face. "Yeah, Uncle Jay told me that real men don't hit girls even if they hit you first. Him said he loves you and you make him mad all the time but he never hit you", he answered. "Really? What else did Uncle Jay say?", I asked curious. "He said that if I ever hit a girl I was gonna have to fight him like a man and you would be mad at me and that's it", he said focusing on the television again. "Well Uncle Jay is right I will be mad but I will never stop loving you. And I know you will never do anything bad like that, right", I asked.

"I promise, cross my heart and hope to die", he said sticking out his pinky and we pinky sweared. I kissed his cheek and walked out of the room to talk some sense into Jay one last time.

I walked into my bedroom and found Jay lying across the bed in deep thought. "Bae what you thinking about?" I asked lying on top of him. "Do you really wanna know", he said letting me know it was something I didn't want to hear. "How much do I get on your nerves?" I asked sitting up and moving to my side of the bed.

"What you talking about", he asked sitting up too. "I was talking to Juelz and he told me what you said", I said answered rolling my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me Bee, I was telling him the truth", he said pulling me into his lap. We sat there silently and just at ease in each other's presence.

"Baby I want to be serious with you right now", I said turning in his arms a little. "Wassup, Bee", he said kissing my forehead. "I don't want to be a single mother", I said to him. "Bee what are you talkin about", he asked pulling my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. "It's just if you do something to him and get caught I'm going to be in this alone, I can't do this by myself", I said as tears formed in my eyes. He sighed heavy and looked away.

"Bee you're not going to be alone. You never will be. I'll be here for you and the baby forever, I'm not going no where", he said kissing my forehead and wiping the falling tears once more, trying to reassure me. "If you love me you'll leave it alone", I said looking away. "I'm not about to do this with you right now Bee", he said pushing me onto the bed and getting up to walk out of the bedroom. I sighed and couldn't believe he would just walk away like that. "Jay.....wait", I said getting up and walking to him.

He stood in the frame of the door but he wouldn't look at me. "Think logically baby, don't let your pride get in the way. He's not worth it, he's not worth our future together", I said holding his arm and pulling him back into the bedroom. "Bee, why are you sitting here questioning my love for you? This has nothing to do with my pride. All I'm tryin to do, all I've ever been trying to do is protect you. I love you and it's my job to ensure that you're safe when I'm not around", he said trying to make me see his side.

"I know. I've always been safe with you. And I know you love me and as much as I want him to feel pain this is not the way. Just let it go", I said kissing his lips hoping he would see things my way. "You know you're going to be my life forever. I'm your man but before that I'm just a man and you can't seriously be asking me to let something like this go. As a man I have the divine right to kill in order for my family to survive. A man can't let shit like this ride, it's not cool. And no matter how much you try to talk me out of it, Imma do what I gotta do and you need to respect that", he said.

I rubbed my hand over his face as the thought of him not being here with me crossed my mind, bringing tears to my eyes yet again. He sighed heavy and looked away. "Why you crying man?" he asked angrily. "Because I need you to understand that once you put this band on my finger, once you put this baby in my stomach you got life with me and I want it no other way but you're willing to let all that go over some foolish game of revenge", I said letting the tears fall.

"I'm not throwing nothing away. I'm not going no where no matter what. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this shit for you to believe it. I'm from the streets, baby I know what I'm doin I know how to do shit and not get caught", he said slightly raising his voice and wiping my tears. That wasn't enough for me because despite his words, there still stood an unspeakable feeling in my heart that whatever he did was going to backfire on him and I would indeed be alone. But Jay will be Jay. I guess it's fine that he's being honest with me so that there won't be any surprises.

"Whatever you do, think long and hard about it. Think about who you are, about everything you have and everything you could possibly lose. Think about me, think about the life we built together. And know that I just want to look out for you, for us, for our unborn child and make sure you do whatever you do for the right reasons", I said kissing his cheek still not approving of the way he wanted to handle things but feeling at peace with it despite what could possibly happen because no matter what I said, he was going to do what he wanted. "Look I promise I'm not going to go out looking for trouble but if something happens it happens", he said shrugging nonchalantly.

But I was done trying to reason with him. I didn't need to nor would I cry anymore about the situation. I nodded my head and placed it to his chest listening to the wonderful rhythm of his heartbeat. "So we good", he asked rubbing my stomach. "Ain't we always", I said looking up at him. "I love you and I'm not going to do anything to lose you or the family we've worked so hard for", he said turning me in his lap.

"I love you too and I don't ever want to be without your good love", I said wrapping my arms around his neck. "Just understand me baby, understand why I feel so passionately about this. I just need you to ride for me like I've known you to, put us together how they gonna stop both of us", he said laughing a little.

"I will forever be the Bonnie to your Clyde", came my answer. He nodded and smiled proudly. I climbed off his lap and started to walk out of the bedroom. "Damn, that ass is getting fatter", he said grabbing a handful of my booty. "That's means you hittin it right", I said grinning. "I been hittin it right all these years, you still can't get enough", he said stroking his own ego. "You ain't never lied", I said as he gripped my waist as we walked down the stairs simultaneously. "You know you got that good good right", he whispered into my ear. "That's what they all say, cause one man alone can't handle a woman like me", I teased. "Yo, don't say nothing to me the rest of the night", he said walking away from me.

I walked into the kitchen and Solo was in there making dinner. "You feeling better", I asked grabbing a water from the fridge. "Much", she answered looking at me with a smile.She was lying, only pretending to be strong but she was breaking down inside. I sipped my water as the doorbell rang and I heard a bunch of rowdy men, Jay's friends. They all went into the basement since the living room was still a disaster.

"You think they want to eat", Solo said referring to Jay's friends. "I don't care if they do because they all just walked into my house without speaking a single word to me", I said offended. "You are a cry baby", Solo teased laughing at me. "I'm a go tell them about theyselves", I said walking out to the kitchen and to the basement. I went to turn the knob and realized it was locked. This nigga got me twisted, they definitely down there stirring up some dumb plan to get them all caught up, this should be an interesting night.