We'll Always Have Hawaii

Chapter 6

December 28th, 2012, Phoenix, Arizona

Stevie sat on her mother's bed, Barbara's cold, lifeless, tiny hand still in hers. Silent tears streamed down Stevie's face as she stroked her mom's fingers, looking into the beloved face of her best friend that had just passed away. How could she ever go on with her life without her in it?

Another heavy crying fit overwhelmed her and she crawled into the bed and snuggled closer to her. She knew, soon people would come to take her away from her, and she wasn't ready yet to let her go. Her family and friends had left the room after Stevie had asked them for some privacy, and they all had agreed, knowing far too well how close Stevie and Barbara had always been.

"I'm so going to miss you, mom..", she sobbed, "I love you so much.. Why did you leave me? You know how much I need you..."

Stevie wrapped her arms around her mother's body and pulled her closer.

"Mom... What am I gonna do?", she cried even heavier, "What about Lindsey? What am I gonna do without your advice.. Even though, I've never listened to it, though..", she smiled sadly through her tears, remembering how Barbara and her had spent hours discussing what she and him were doing every year and how her mother had never understood why both of them were torturing themselves so much.

Barbara was the only person on earth, Stevie had told about her and Lindsey's arrangement. No other person she had trusted that much.

She remembered how she had instantly flown to Arizona after the night she had spent with Lindsey. Her mother had already been sick then, and when she had arrived at her house, she had seen that Barbara was going to die. She had spent the last twelve days here, not leaving her mother's side once. They had talked and talked, laughed and cried. They had told each other anything that needed to be said, and still, as she lay here beside her, she felt as if there was still so much she needed to tell her. So many things they hadn't talked about yet.

Stevie was so engrossed in her thoughts and crying that she didn't hear the knocking at the door.

"Stevie?", she heard someone calling her name.

She looked up. In the doorframe stood Lori.

"Stevie, honey.. Listen.. They are here to take her, now.. It's time."

"No", Stevie cried out loud and held on to Barbara even tighter, "Not yet.. I'm not ready yet. Lori, make them go! I can't.."

"Oh, Stevie..", Lori said sadly and sat down beside her to pull her into a hug, "I know this is hard right now.. But you have to let her go.."

"I can't, Lori.. I just can't.."

"You've been in here for three hours, now... It's time..", Lori said softly and stroked Stevie's hair in order to soothe her.

"How can I go on without her?"

"You will, honey.. It's going to be hard but you will push through! You've been through so much already.."

"This is different, Lori.. She's my mom!"

"I know...", Lori said, now crying herself again, she had always loved Barbara, "But Stevie, you are strong. You are such a strong person.. And I am always there for you, you know that, right? You know that I love you, Stevie?"

Stevie nodded in response and let Lori rock her forth and back for a while until two men entered the room and carried her tiny mother outside of the house.

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Stevie and Lori went back into the living-room where the rest of her family and friends were staying. All of them had red and puffy eyes from crying. Barbara had been loved by a lot of people. She had always been the rock of the family.