in another life

1 . 1

❝ the passing ❞

"WE ARE GATHERED HERE in memory of a loving husband, father, and friend. in loving respect and memory, our friend has passed away." a pastor spoke, that's when i woke up, i had no idea where i was.

i couldn't speak, i tried to hug my youngest, but i couldn't.

i looked into a casket, my body.

i was dead? how?

my friends, family, and those whom i didn't know, were all there.

"i miss dad!" my youngest cried, i felt so bad.

how did it even happen? i couldn't remember, i couldn't remember anything anymore.

my youngest was 5, she didn't have her two front teeth.

my middle child, had their arms wrapped around the youngest, holding back tears.

my middle came out as non-binary on their 13th birthday, they're still 13, just more knowing of everything.

my eldest was holding my wife in his arms, crying as well.

he was 16, soon to go to collage. he took after me in many ways.

my wife, oh my beautiful, loving wife.

she was gorgeous, i can't believe i had to leave her. she was crying into our sons arms.

my mom and dad were softly crying.

my siblings were also crying, as well as all my other family.

my friends from work were all joined in staring directly at the casket with solid faces, not smiling.

i felt so bad, what if it wasn't my fault?

i was kept in my thoughts when i noticed everyone packing into cars.

i followed my family's car and watched them grieve in the car together.

when they arrived at home, my wife collapsed on the group and screamed whilst sobbing.

all i wanted to do was hug her and tell her everything would be okay, but i couldn't.

i watched as the children just stood in pain and shock before the eldest walked to my wife and picked her up, carrying her to the house.

they all gathered in the living room, no words or movement, just soft sobs from my wife and youngest.

i'd give anything to hug them and hold them close.

but i can't anymore, what did i do to deserve this?

"mom?" the middle asked, mascara drying under their eyes.

"yes Finley?" my wife asked, wiping her tears and looking at them.

"i'm going to my room, just remember, it wasn't your fault." they mumbled softly, before walking up the stairs to their room.