The Ap Calculus teacher

The Comparison

I walk into fourth hour with a double-hinge knee brace on trying to get to my seat before Mr. Colly notices. Sam's eyes widen as she sees me and I shake my head no at her.

"Bronx!" I shut my eyes tightly and turn around slowly. "That bad, I..." "It's fine, brace two weeks then when I play and medication for swelling and soreness." "You sure you're okay?

I nod and take my seat pulling out my packet. I stare at question seven for a solid five minutes when Colly looks over my shoulder. "You stuck?" I shake my head no and begin working on it.

The bell rings and I made it through a total of three problems. "Don't leave, don't leave, finish all evens tonight. Bronx can I see you?"

I sigh and step up to his desk. "I'm not gonna hold you from your lunch I just wanna check on you." "I'm fine, lot on my mind today. I'll go ahead and get through the other seven problems tonight." "No, take your time, you're already ahead so don't worry about that. Let me know if you need anything."

He sits down at his desk and I smile softly exiting the room. I make my way to the library knowing I won't do it for homework. Jon grabs my waist and spins me around. "I know you are cooler than lunch in the library." "Ap Calc." I say starting back in my direction. "You good?" "Yeah, just wanna get it done."

I force myself to get it done and barely have time to pack my stuff up and make it to art. I stare at my piece wanting to tear it to shreds. To start completely over. "Don't today, I can see the wheels in your head getting stuck." I smile at the teacher and he takes my paper. I lay my head down and wait for the bell. As soon as it rings I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head home.

My moms waiting for me with ice, pillows, and meds on the couch with our favorite show pulled up ready to play. "How'd you know?" I ask with a sigh plopping down next to her. "I knew you'd be in pain which would ruin your day, so..." I laugh slightly and she props my leg up resting ice on it, then gives me a devilish smile. "I'll be right back!"

She runs out and comes back with two tubes of ice cream. "You are truly the best!" I say taking my strawberry and spoon. She presses play and we spend the rest of the day and night binging.

"Alright let's go get good food, stretch your leg out and then we can watch more." She helps me up and we get in the car heading to our favorite Chinese restaurant. And good Chinese not some poor seasoned stuffs that taste like dollar store shit. Good authentic Chinese food.

We park out by the town lake and eat our food quietly. We've never had much to talk about, it's usually school or when am I going back to soccer. Or my favorite one, the where did I go wrong fight. She's been good to me though. Always done everything she could for me and truly cares about me, we just don't have that much in common.

She looks over to me and I look at her, "Yes?" "How are you doing?" I chuckle, "Honestly better than I thought. Cam has been a big help to that." "I'm sorry you got dragged back out here." "Hey, it's all good."

It's quiet for another moment and she laughs softly. "What?" "My best friend in high school Jennifer, we would sit out here and just talked awful about everyone. Favorite part of the week." "Chanel and I too, except all the time and not quiet about it." "For how close you two were, I didn't know much about her." "She's awful," I say taking a sip of my tea. "Worst than you?" "Who do you think made me awful?" She chuckles and nods, "I hope you know we aren't disappointed in you, just want what's best for you. And that path wasn't." I nod pissed off and look out onto the lake.

My phone buzzes and Chanel is texting me. I pick my phone up with a groan as she's blowing me up.

IT HAPPENED
TREVOR
B comon pick up
this is huge
what are you doing on a friday night in the place you don't wanna be?
Jesus Christ! you did what?
Trevor and I, finally!
date or????
yes date glad you perceive me as a whore
you perceive yourself as a whore but happy for you
thanks!! also carson is dying
what do you mean
he misses you swears he'll never find someone better
i miss him, wonder if we should've done long distance
girl no worst decision you could ever make, life wasn't all great when you two we're together. you know this!!! enjoy the new guys let loose, be me
a whore?
yes

I shut my phone off and collect my trash, "You ready?" She stands up with her trash and gets in the car. "You upset with me?" I ask sliding in next to her. "You just get all upset when I'm being a good mother." "I'm never gonna be Scott! I'm just fucked up, do bad things, enjoy an adrenaline rush, that's the daughter you have. It isn't going to change." She slams on the breaks. "Why can't you be better?" "Be better? I have worked more, done better in school, and taken care of pets, cousins, friends, the house more than Scott has! I think it is completely fair I indulge in activities to relieve stress! I have lost so much more than Scott, his life has been spoiled taken care of, fuck never had a real problem and you're more proud of him than your daughter who fights for her life every day. So I'm sorry I'm not better."

There's a pause, a momentary victory only to be ruined by "We were having such a good day together." "Yes mom we were, until you asked me to be better."