The Scars Run Deep

Chapter Four-Give Me Something

How am I doing everyone? How do you feel about all of the characters? What do you think is going to happen? I love feedback!

"I...Caleb i'm sorry!" I cry as he sits there with his arms crossed standing in front of his bedroom door.

"I don't want your apologies. How could you go off swimming in a bikini with two other guys and not even tell me? Who does that Valerie. What the hell did I do?" He chuckles as he spits out his words.

"I didn't think about it I...just Abi was there and I wanted to see her."

"Why didn't you invite me?" He quickly states.

"I..." My sentence is cut short as I frantically try to come up with a reason, why didn't I? "I just got so excited to see them I just I didn't...I just didn't think about it I didnt."

Tears fill his eyes "Do you not like me or something? I treat you nice don't I? I buy you gifts and I buy you everything you want. I take you on dates. I compliment you. I actually want to kiss you, you always pull away every time I want to be more intimate and show you how much I love your body and you."

I gasp out and I start to cry a little harder "I do like you, I just...I"

"Stop FUCKING stuttering and talk to me." He raises his hand but lowers it and walks to the other side of the room.

I can feel myself hyperventilating as I become overwhelmed, Caleb has never raised his voice at me. He's never been so mad. I've never seen him so upset.  I really messed up. I really should have told him, I should have said good morning "I just wasn't thinking. I don't think it's a big deal I went for Abi not for Chase and Bren..."

"Are you fucking serious?!" He whips around and faces me "You do know Brent wants in your fucking pants right? That kid has slept with everyone. He's just like his brothers. I would never take advantage of you but you want to hang out with him over me? We've been dating for four months Valerie. He just got here like two months ago?"

Four months, really? It's felt like an eternity.

"I...I didn't know he was like that, I just thought he was nice. He's Abi's friend." I try to soften the blow and push it to Abi. I can't seem to catch my breath and I stare down at my feet, seeing Caleb's giant figure hovering over me.

"You're clueless Valerie! Honestly." I see his feet shift back over to the door "How do you not know? You need to be aware of this shit. You're my girlfriend, you don't flaunt your body in a swimsuit in front of everyone else."

I bite my lip as I swallow my sobs but my tears continue to stream from my face and drip onto my lap.

"What, do you not have anything else to say?" He scoffs as I shake my head quickly.

"No, I'm just sorry. I'll do better."

I should be better. I need him.

He takes a deep breath. Walking over he sits beside me "You know I love you right?"

Love?

I slowly peer from underneath my hair at him, his face relaxed and calm. Love me? Do I love him?

"I love you too." I quickly reply, I owe him that much for what I did today. Girlfriends don't do this to their boyfriend. Look at what I made him do, how upset he was.

He smiles and lifts my head up, smacking a kiss onto my lips he sighs "I'll see you tomorrow? The boys are coming over."

I nod and give a small smile "Yeah."

"Maybe I can order in some food? We can go fishing?"

He loves fishing, me? Not so much. "Yeah."

Giving me another kiss he sits back down and opens his phone. Walking out I get to my car and shut the door. Driving out of his neighborhood I can feel the tears spilling over onto my cheeks, my eyes dead set on the road in front of me and nothing else.

My parents won't be home. My mother has terminal cancer, they spend most of their time in the capitol for medical treatments and assistance. I love her so dearly. I love her so much. My mom and I are extremely close, or at least used to be. She doesn't have a lot of energy these days to spend time with me-but I make sure to hand make her cards every couple weeks, call her almost every night, and make sure our home is ready for her when she comes back. 

It's not fair. I was having a good day and I screwed it all up. I screwed everything up and I made Caleb so mad. I scream at the top of my lungs, my throat burning as I finish it out in a loud sob. Banging my steering wheel I break down and barely make it home as tears blur my vision. Nothing is right. Caleb will break up with me and I will be all alone, I won't have anyone there for me. To comfort me. To hold me. Everything is fucking wrong. God please, please help me. I pray into the night. God please just give me something to hold onto. Give me something.

Walking straight up to my room I let my dog in and give him love as I sob. Lying down he cuddles into me and huffs. Cuddling his furry body and his breath tickling my nose I drift off to sleep somehow.