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fights

ωαяиιиg: ¢σитαιиѕ α∂υℓт ¢σитєит!! νιєωєя ∂ιѕ¢яєтισи α∂νιѕє∂!!

Angel

Hidden behind a pile of rock next to Cherri, an explosion of pink glitter envelopes us. It feels just like the old days. Some of her bombs are just glitter, some are dangerous explosives. You never know till you pull the pin and hope for the best. 

"Heyy, thanks for the backup, Angie!" Cherrie calls.

I laugh, tossing a grenade up. Cherrie shoots it, causing a fiery explosion of pink glitter. "You kidding? This is the best action I've seen in ages!" 

"Where you been anyway?" She yells over the booms. "I thought you up and died or some shit!" 

"Oh I wish," I groan. "I been stayin at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some broads are lettin me stay rent free if I play nice- y'know, no fights, no pranks, no 'problematic language'- her words, not mine- these crazy bitches are no fun! I've been clean for two weeks!" I yell, shooting one of Sir Pentious's egg henchmen. The yolk splatters me. 

"Holy shit," I hear her laugh. 

"Well, sorta clean," I say, wiping some off. "As clean as you can get from a shitload of Bolivian marching powder-"

Chains wrap around me and slam me into the ground a hundred feet away. "Oh, harder, daddy," I moan sarcastically. Sir Pentious freezes. "Son?" he gasps. The fuck? I cock an eyebrow, confused. 

Cherri takes the opportunity to kick him aside, landing next to me. He growls. "You whores have no class! In war, the side remembered is the side with the most style," he says, poofing his bowtie.

"Or the side that ain't dead," Cherri says, pulling an egg apart. 

"Speakin of style," I say, getting up and brushing the chains off, "Is your hat like, alive or somethin?"

"Oh, well that's none of your god damn business, now is it?" he says snobbily. I snicker. "Would that make the hat the top and you the bottom?" I ask. 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH," goes one of his eggs. Pentious throws a rock at it. "I'm going to blow you to bits," he hisses angrily at us. 

"Mm, kinky," I say. His mouth drops. "Oh not like that! PERVERT!" 

Yet another egg (there's like, a billion of them I guess) chains me up again. "Not so cocky now, are we?" Pentious crows. 

"Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta your mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole tIME-" I yelp and jump backwards as a blade shoots up between my legs. "And it's obvious you ain't catchin on," I continue, letting my third set of arms out, armed with a tommy gun. "I mean, it's just SAD," I say, accentuating the last word with shots. 

Cherri pops back. "So think you're gonna get in a lotta trouble for this?" she asks, tilting precariously. 

"Eh. What's one little brawl gonna cause?" I ask carelessly. She grins. "Glad ya haven't changed. You know you're my favorite guy to party with!" 

I smile. "You know it, Sugar tits." 

She rolls a bomb along her shoulders, grabs it and lights it. "You ready to finish this?" 

I cock (ha) my gun. "Born ready, baby."

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Ten minutes later, I'm sitting in a limo with Charlie and Vaggie, playing with the automatic window, ignoring Vaggie's death glare and Charlie's slumped shoulders. 

Finally, I stop and turn to them. Vaggie's face contorts more. "What?" I ask. 

"What?! WHAT?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?" she exclaims, ripping handfuls of hair out. I sigh. "I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn't that a 'redeeming quality'? Helping friends with stuff?" 

"NOT with turf wars that result in territorial GENOCIDE!" she yells angrily. 

"Ehh, you win some, you lose a few hundred," I chuckle. "It wasn't that bad anyway," I say, then return to playing with the window. A knife flies into the window switch, narrowly missing my fingers. I scramble back, wide eyed. Her glare returns, eyes narrowed. 

"Oh come on, I had to," I say, exasperated. "My credibility was on the line." I put my fingers to my forehead. "I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was tryna go clean? It just throws out my entire persona!" I say, pushing up my chest fur. 

"Your credibility? What about the hotel?! Your little stunt made us look like a fucking JOKE," she flares.

I hold my hands up, chuckling. "No no no babe. Jokes are funny. I made you look, uh..." I search for what I'm trying to say. "Sad," I say, finding the right word. "And pathetic. Like an orphan... With no arms.. Or legs. Uhhh, OH, with progeria!" I exclaim. 

Charlie hides behind her hair. "Great, now I'm bummed thinkin about it! This thing have any liquor?" I ask, changing the subject. I start searching around. 

"Can you please just try to take this seriously?" She asks. Fine, I'll try," I say, pausing my search. "Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby," I say, grinning. 

She gets up. "Was that you trying to be sexist, or racist?" She asks angrily. I resume my search. "Whatever pisses you off more," I say. "Is there seriously no liquor in here?!" 

She sits back down, crossing her arms. "I'm gonna kill him," she says. 

"Too late, toots. Waaaait. Would that make me double dead?" I chuckle. "Then where exactly do I go? To double hell?" I laugh, holding my sides. "Sorry. You're stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it," I say.

There's murder in her eyes now, and she mutters some curses in Spanish through gritted teeth, but I keep going. Charlie won't let her actually hurt me. "Listen, who cares if some jack-offs got hurt? Most of em are ugly freaks. Got a buncha fuckin Harlequin babies down here."

"You're one to talk," Vaggie mutters. 

"HEY! This body is flawless," I say, offended. "Everyone wants summa me," I say, reaching into my chest fur and pulling out a folded up piece of paper, "And I got the creepy fan letters to prove it." I unfold it, revealing a creepy old man demanding feet pics, snuggled up naked against a pillow of me.

Do they have that? Nope. I smile smugly to myself, tuning almost everything else until we get to the hotel. 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .