Ɽ₳ĐłØĐɄ₴₮

control

ωαяиιиg: ¢σитαιиѕ α∂υℓт ¢σитєит!! νιєωєя ∂ιѕ¢яєтισи α∂νιѕє∂!! 

Alastor

I watch him disappear around the corner. I'm frozen in place. Did I hear him right? 

"Yeah, I want something more because I am into you and you do seem like a great guy"

I blink, trying to come back to reality.

"But there's the issue of Val, and I don't really know where you stand"

The issue of Valentino... Where do I stand??

"Take this where you want"

I have a choice. The power sits in my hands.

"Whatever you choose, I'll be happy with it and I won't argue with you. I'll respect your decision and I promise I won't hate you if it's not what I want."

My shadow creeps around me in circles, whispering uncertainly. 

Don't trust him, don't trust him. No one deserves trust. Leave the hotel. Disappear. Forget him. 

He hasn't given me a reason to distrust him. 

He's a sex worker. He'll NEVER belong to you. He'll always be out there somewhere, fucking others before you. 

He could quit? 

The shadow laughs deliriously. You really ARE delusional, aren't you?  Why would he quit? He CAN'T. He said so himself that he can't escape Valentino. Give it UP, Anthony. 

I flinch. "Go away," I mutter, going back inside my room and shutting the door, locking it as if that will keep the shadow away. I pin my smile on. Smiling equals control, smiling equals control, smiling equals control... 

My shadow slides under the door, grinning crookedly. Oh, Lucifer. 

Stop being so selfish, he hisses, antlers growing. I step away. 

Look at you. Afraid of your own shadow, he grins. His hands grow into claws. 

My chest heaves. I step farther away. 

He grows taller, taller, taller. His legs distort and curve into a deer's hindquarters. His back hunches with a sickening crack, and his head changes into that of a deer skull, dripping shadowy blood. 

This is the REAL you. This is the real monster, not some pathetic human-shaped demon with a few deer features. 

"Go away," I say, voice cracking. "I left you behind when I died." 

He grins, psychotic. "Wrong answer," he growls, an actual voice filling the room. My eyes widen. I'm backed against a wall. He creeps closer, taking his time. He knows I'm trapped. 

"Look at you now,"  he snarls. "Afraid of who you truly are." 

"Wrong," I say. It's becoming harder to keep my smile up. The mask is slipping, and my fear is showing through. "This isn't me. You aren't me. I am Alastor. You are nothing but a shadow. I am in charge of you. I control you." 

He laughs darkly. "So delusional,"  it cackles.

My chest is constricting, breaths coming shallower and quicker. He steps closer. I search my mind desperately for a spell, but I come up blank. 

"Are you afraid, Anthony?"  He asks, reaching for me. "Because you should be." 

A dim word surfaces in the back of my mind. I reach for it, grabbing tight and clinging to it like a lifeboat.