Zedric's Hotel

the goodness school of hard knocks

When my alarm clock goes off, I immediately toss it out the window. I have not been looking forward to this day, so my alarm and everything bad that I know is about to happen today can go fuck itself. I turn to the other side and close my eyes. Suddenly, I hear a voice. "Zedric, wake up." It's Vaggie. "Do me a favor." I reply. "What?" she says. "Get out of my room, close the door, and knock." I say. She sighs and rolls her eyes but does just that. "Come in!" I shout. She re-enters the room. "Was there a purpose for that?" Vaggie asks. "Yes. Learn to knock on my door before you so much as think of entering my room." I say. Vaggie sighs and turns for the door. "Remember, the class today is mandatory. If you miss it, you'll be dealing with me." Vaggie says. "I'll make a mental note and make sure it doesn't slip my mind like your dick appointment at 5:30 tomorrow." I retort. Vaggie growls at me. She and I have another staredown before she backs off and heads downstairs. I close my door and change my clothes. I head downstairs with Green Day blasting in my ears. I sing as I move along.

"I'm just a young boy that had big plans, now I'm just another shitty old man, I don't have fun, and I hate everything, the world owes me so fuck you..."

I'm still jamming when I sit down at the table.

"The world owes me, so fuck you..."

When the song ends I start playing games on my phone. Out the corner of my eye I can see Vaggie trying to get my attention. I can hear her, but I pretend I can't. "Sorry, I can't hear you!" I say loudly, before returning to my game. I feel the headphones yanked off my head. I look up at Vaggie. "I said, take your feet off the table." We lock eyes again, both of us full of rage, ready to tear the other apart. Unfortunately, Charlie intervenes before I can knock Vaggie all the way back to Mexico. "Both of you, stop it!" she says. Vaggie throws my stuff back in my hands. "Watch yourself, Zedric." Vaggie says. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" I say to Vaggie. Charlie makes a face at me that says 'calm down, because I'm the princess and I can still make your life more miserable than it already is.' I comply just this once and return to my game. "Vaggie, Husk needs help moving the chairs. Can you go give him a hand?" Charlie asks Vaggie. "Yeah, Vaggie, don't make the old man do all the work." I say. "I fucking heard that!" It's Husk in the back. I laugh a bit. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Charlie calming down Vaggie and sending her on her way. Charlie turns to me. "Zedric, do you have to cause a problem with Vaggie?" She asks. "I was gonna lie to you, but my gut is telling me not to, so I'll tell you the truth. Your girlfriend is a pain in my ass, and I want to punch her in the face." I reply. "Zedric, that's what these classes are for. That's what this Hotel is for. Working out your differences so you can become a better person and hopefully we can help you get into Heaven. But you constantly miss these meets, and they are important. This one is mandatory for a reason. If you have a problem with Vaggie, just... Just talk it out, okay?" She's asking me nicely but unfortunately if I fell for that kind of shit I would be super dead by now. "Fine." is all I have to say. "Okay, now, are you not having breakfast? You look a little thin, you should eat more." Charlie says. I put my phone down on the table. "Oh, fucking hell. The next person who tells me I should eat more is gonna get their fucking head bashed in." Angel Dust leans in toward me. "Well you should eat more, Zeddy- more of me." I grab him by his neck and pull him closer so he can hear my words clearly. "I will break every single one of your arms. You got me?" I say. "I-oh, choke me harder, daddy." Angel Dust says. "Watch it, you little femboy shit." I say and push him off of me.

Later I'm in my room listening to Warning (which is a very underrated album) when I hear a knock on my door. "What?" I yell. "It's time," Vaggie says to me. I open the door and follow her but I really would like to suicide myself again. I enter the room where we all have to take individual and group rehabilitation classes. Angel Dust sees me and waves me over. "Hey, Zeddy! Welcome to 'the goodness school'." He says. "More like 'the goodness school of hard knocks' if they let you in here. And what did I tell you about calling me 'Zeddy'?" I retort. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I said your name wrong again. You should punish me..." Angel says in a supposedly seductive tone. "Let me tell you something, my guy. Me punishing you is not any of your kinky shit. I am going to break every bone in your body, rupture all of your organs, and to put the icing on the cake, I'll break your jaw so you'll shut up for once. So, what do you say? Still want me to punish you?" I say as I crack my knuckles. "You don't want the honest answer to that." Husk says as he enters the room. "When did you get here?" I ask. "5 seconds ago." He replies. I turn back to look at Niffty staring up at me. "What?" I ask. "Are you wearing the same shirt you wore yesterday?" She asks me. "Yes..." I reply, confused. "Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know!" Niffty says before proceeding to take the farthest seat away from me. Truly, I really don't fucking understand that one. About 15 minutes later we're all sitting in our seats waiting on Alastor. He's not coming. He never attends this shit. Wish I could be him right now. I put on my headphones and get ready to play some more Warning when Vaggie makes a hand motion for me to take off my headphones. Obviously, I return the favor by giving her my favorite hand motion involving a certain finger. Just then, Alastor walks in.