Zedric's Hotel

the adventures of spider homo and the dorky drummer boy

I woke up hungover. Reminder to never challenge Husk to a drinking game again, I tell myself. I know I overslept and I'm gonna be late so I don't rush to get ready. All I do is put on my shoes, I don't even feel like changing out of my pajamas. Today's session is mandatory because Charlie snorted coke and got another crazy idea- in order to improve our kindness toward others, we have to pair up with someone else and hang with them for 24 hours. It's so stupid. I think I'd rather have a dog gnawing on my testicles for 24 hours.

It won't be so bad, if I choose the right partner. I'd pick Alastor over everyone else here. He's the only one who doesn't piss me off (well, aside from his belief that 'sinnerettes' is a word) and he can tell me a lot about the Roaring 20s, if the parties were really as epic as people say they were, and if 90% of rich people really chose to suicide themselves instead of getting a job like any normal person. If Alastor's already picked Niffty, I might just pair with Husk. Sure, alcoholics can be assholes, but he's never bugged me about anything. Hell, if lady luck comes my way, we can go through the whole 24 hours without even talking to each other. I'm sorting out my options when I arrive in the room with the others. Within 0.2 seconds, Vaggie is on my ass. "You're late." She says. "I'm here, though." I retort as I head up to Alastor. "'Sup, Al?" I say. "Oh, hello, Zedric!" He replies. "I was wondering if you wanted to team up with me for the 24 hour thing." I recommend. "Thanks for the offer, Zedric, but Husker and I were going to team up!" He says as he grabs Husk. "We are?" A confused Husk asks. "Yes, we are! I've been dying to show you this new restaurant!" Alastor replies. Husk thinks for a moment. "Will there be booze?" He asks. "So many different kinds!" Alastor replies. "Okay, then. Fuck it, I'm down." Husk agrees.

Well, fuck, there go the only two people I was actually okay with spending the entire day with. Now I have to go to my least favorite backup plan."Hey, Niffty! You wanna team up?" I ask her. She's about to reply, but Vaggie cuts in. "Actually, Niffty and I are partnering up. I need her to do some stuff around the Hotel." She says. I shrug my shoulders and look back at Niffty. "Sorry. Maybe next time, though!" She says. Honestly, I'm just hoping there isn't a next time.

And that's when it dawns on me. If Alastor and Husk are paired up, and so are Vaggie and Niffty, that means that I'm stuck with...

"Hey, Zeddy," Angel Dust says from behind me.

Oh, fuck my fucking life.

I wish that an hour had passed, but it was only a 10 minute walk from the Hotel to the liquor store. There was a line, so we were waiting outside. Angel is tapping his foot impatiently. "Why can't we just go back to the Hotel?" Angel Dust asks. "Because Vaggie locked the doors and she won't unlock them until curfew. That fucking bitch." I tell Angel. I'm hoping that he won't talk again, but when have I ever gotten my way. "Why is this line so long?" Angel asks. "What, you think you're the only person who drinks down here?" I retort. "Why don't we just go through the back door?" Angel asks. "Don't even think about that. I tried. They got a guy back there." I say. "Well, let's go visit him." Angel says, before moving towards the alley that leads behind the building. "Angel, what the fuck are you doing?" I angrily ask him. Angel turns back to me. "Well, clearly this guy just needs a little bit of Angel Dust." Angel says, and motioning his hand toward his mouth. "Fucking Hell, Angel, he's a hetero." I tell him. "So was Travis." Angel replies, before continuing on. "Who the fuck is Travis?" I ask.

We arrive in the back lot. The guy spots us before we see him. He lets out a loud grunt, letting us know of his presence. He's big and disgusting. He wears a t-shirt that is 18 sizes too small for him, and some cargo shorts that he stretched out himself. Angel is all confident and starts strutting toward him. I truly don't know if he's trying to be sexy or not, I'm too confused to notice.. "Hey, big guy. I can show you a good time, and just for you, baby, I'll do it for free." Angel says as he moves toward him. The guy gives another grunt. I don't know if that's a yes, but Angel moves down and unbuttons his pants. This is gross, I think, before turning my head away. "Zeddy, how large is yours?" Angel asks me who has my back turned.. "9 inches." I say, which is the honest truth. "Yeah, he's definitely bigger." Angel says. 90% of me believes that's Angel just lying to piss me off, but I'm not going to turn around and look at it. I hear a bunch of moaning and groaning behind me, which is what I assume to be Angel Dust doing the one thing he's apparently good at. I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this, so I pull out my phone and play some Green Day.