BEEEEPPP
BEEEEEPPP
I slammed my hand down on my alarm, my first day at a new school. I had left myself plenty of time to get ready, because I knew I was going to need it.
My dad had left my mum and we had decided to make a fresh start in a new place without him. I hadn’t minded I had been bullied at my old school, I had self harmed, ending up in hospital from not eating. That had been hard and I quit at it plenty of times, but now I think I am way better off from it.
Really there was nothing left for me in my past anyway apart from my one best friend Liam, he was the only one that I had missed, but I had even managed to upset him so what would have been the point in staying. He had been awkward at my last school but had always seemed to like me and he was sweet and made me laugh so we stuck together. We were rejects together. I kind of always saw us staying together forever, possibly even dating, but for some reason although we only had each other, that never really happened.
I was determined to make this new start different though, I wouldn’t walk in and act how I did before, I’d spent the summer holidays re-inventing myself. I had turned myself into something that I could be proud of, they would love me. I was confident in the new me.
I got up, took a long hot shower, and got changed into my new hollister denim shorts, (very short, very tight, I'd had to fight to get them but they were fabulous) and put on my pretty floral crop top to show off my belly button piercing and new toned tummy. I hadn’t spent half the holidays at the gym for nothing. after straightening it, I slung my waist length dirty blonde hair into a messy ponytail and did my make-up carefully. It had to be perfect, with a slick of lipgloss I was finished. I laced up my hightops, grabbed my bag (a knock-off Gucci) and headed for the door. I checked myself over in the full length mirror in my hallway, I smiled, I looked great.
I had been careful to make sure that everything I owned or wore was cool enough. There was no way that I was making all the effort on the first day for them to think I was a total dweeb the second time they saw me. Oh no, there was only so many times I could take the bullying and the rehab. I was getting better but I was pretty sure that almost anything could push me back into my old ways.
“Honor, have you eaten any breakfast?” my mum, I call her Meredith called from the kitchen.
“No….. I’ll get some at school.” I mumbled. I hadn’t told Meredith my new diet plan and what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. It wasn't my anorexia coming back, I was just trying to make some healthier diet decisions and I still ate lunch and dinner most days anyway, so what difference did it make? I left the house before I heard her response.
My school was about a 10 minute walk up the road from my new home so there was no need for Meredith to drive me. To be honest, even if it was an hour away, I would still rather walk alone. Since all my problems and inns and outs of hospital Meredith has become rather over protective off me and I have no doubt that if anyone looked at me the wrong way she would be straight out of the car and yelling at them before they even had the chance to apologise. I guess that could be considered sweet that she cared, but it just annoyed me the heck off. She realised when I was in hospital just how little attention she paid to me, too have not realised that all this was happening too me. She was now way over compensating for it, doing anything I wanted to make up for it and constantly nervous that she'll say the wrong thing and make me worse. To be honest I would rather she was just out of my way, that's how I preferred it anyway, I was a bit of a lone wolf and the last thing I needed was an over protective mother. I can take perfectly good care of myself, thank you very much, it's not like i trust anyone now anyways.
Anyway, I could use the walk to clear my head and calm myself down. I’m carefree now, i told myself, they’ll love me. I knew that if i sorted out the popular girls at this school and found a way to get their attention and the rest of my time at school will be easy as pie. I kind of wished Liam was with me now, he could calm me down easily, his natural presence did that. Actually if Liam was here I wouldn’t look like this, I wouldn’t have my new look and my new personality so maybe it was better this way. Maybe this we were meant to be split apart so that I could sort myself out.
