December 10 2021
So today my sad cloud was very stormy⚡️ today. I've been on a emotional rollercoaster about my life. I'm so uninterested in the options i've been given. All the options i want i need to have more experience for, and i get it you never want a beginner under your liability lol. That's what's practice is for i know. I guess i'm just impatient, i want results NOW. I be feeling like a bum because social media makes you feel like "they doing that and you doing this", that shit is real and it fucks with you. So i been sad right? But By Your Side - Rod Wave (pleaseeee listen to it rnnnn so you can understand), and idk why even tho Rodarius songs do be hitting sometimes, but i never fucked with him like thaaaatt. And then when i hung out with RDR (idk if i should put names bc aint that illegal?). To be safe😂 R requested by your side!!!! i was like OH MY GOSH. literally lol. I was gonna request it but i didn't say anything. Anyways i'm sad so i decided to puff, & cry maybe. and i have by your side on REPEAT. So i'm venting to myself i said something like "i'm so tired of feeling alone with all these people around me. Handling all these battles ALONE". Then, i cried harder when i thought about the fact that that will never change — i'm going to have to be alone on this one...forever. that sucks but i guess this is my reality. So after this song played 50x it caught my attention at a interesting point. This ear fucker said "i'm right here if you get lonely give this song another listen, close your eyes, listen to my voice , it's my disguise. By your side (2x) Watching you close". LIKE WTF. the universe HAS to be speaking to me through music. Is it just me? I think everything is a sign, and the answers to all our questions are in our faces but it's up to us to catch it or not. Furthermore, (lolll i hated english in college, and i didn't like my professors, my 1st semester professor was actually okay, but that's only because she liked that i was a good student, always didn't my work and did better than a hand full of people. But she was still mean as hell, just not to me tho (i wish she would)). But yeah, that song started feeling like a immediate hug that i needed today. Thank You Rodarius🤍. I be wanting to be gone but i just wonder what the rest would've been like. Do i make it out the storm? Does it REALLY get better? I'm just so over my stormy days with my pessimistic mentality. I know it's up to me to change that, i've been working on it, i slip sometimes. I always feel like i have so many things that need my attention it's so hard to just focus, manage and plan accordingly realistically. I be trying man. My train slide off track but it eventually it gets back on track💀. *sigh* was that a sign tho??
With all that being if you feel alone someone is by your side even if it's one person. Watching closely. Sometimes we make ourselves be lonely. 🤍
YOU ARE READING
Stuck In My Head
Non-FictionHi, my name is t, i don't have any made up story to tell you. This is my life. A message to myself. Telling my experience. My perspective. Follow along if you'd like, i hope to impact someone throughout my journey who feels my feelings.
