inspired by: a tiktok (see my tumblr for the link)
pairing: jake jensen x fem!reader
word count: 659
warnings: pregnant reader, reader goes into labor, jake's a lil slow, not proofread
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"Shit," you cursed when you realized what had woken you up. Fuck, what time was it? You glanced over at your alarm clock. 2:45. In the morning. God, was there a worse time for your water to break. You flailed your arm out, smacking your husband in the chest. "Jake, wake up. The baby's coming."
"They haven't paid rent yet," he mumbled in his sleep, trying to pull your body back against him.
You shook him until his eyes fluttered up. "Well, it's time to evict the baby."
"Huh?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "Who's getting evicted?"
"The baby. My water broke."
"Oh. Do we, like, need to get some super glue or something and fix it?"
"What? No! I'm going into labor!"
"Oh. OH. SHIT!" he said, finally realizing what was happening. He threw the covers off of him, grabbing the duffel bag you'd placed next to the bed in case your water broke in the middle of the night and you needed to leave fast. "Holy shit! We need to go!"
"You need to pants on first, bud," you said, laughing as the moonlight shining in from the window revealed his white boxers with little red hearts.
"Now's not the time to be thinking about clothes! Our baby's about to be born!"
"Relax," you said, getting out of the bed, flipping on the lamp on your nightstand. "It's gonna be a while before I'm dilated enough to start pushing. We got a little bit of time. Let's make sure we're being reasonable—"
"REASONABLE?! YOU'RE ABOUT TO PUSH A TINY HUMAN OUT OF YOUR COOCHIE!"
You snorted as you grabbed a pair of socks from your chest of drawers, throwing them at Jake so he could help you put them on. After you sat on the edge of the bed, he began to pull one sock on, then the other before grabbing your shoes and doing the same thing. "Are we sure you're not the one going into labor? Maybe we should have you doing the breathing exercises," you teased.
"Great idea," he said before doing the weird breathing you were taught during calisthenics.
"Okay, doofus, we need to get going," you laughed. "Got the keys? Bags?"
"Yes and yes," he said.
"Great, let's go."
You went downstairs together, Jake holding onto you to make sure you didn't fall. You walked through the kitchen, to the door that led to the garage. Jake unlocked the car and you slid into the passenger's seat while Jake tossed the bag into the bag. Then he got into the driver's seat, putting the keys into the ignition before he looked at you with horror in his eyes.
"What? What's wrong? Are we out of gas or something?" you asked.
"Do...Do we need our passports?"
"Why on Earth would we need our passports? Am I giving birth in Canada or something?"
"I don't know! What if we have to, like, prove the baby's ours or something?"
"Well, the fact that they'll be coming out of my coochie will have me covered," you laughed. "Though, I should probably call my side piece and make sure they're present..."
"That's not funny!" he said, but his laughter told you otherwise. His eyes softened as he stared at you. "Holy shit."
"What?"
"We're gonna have a baby," he said, smiling so wide it took over his entire face. "A little tiny person all of our own."
"Yeah, let's go do this, rockstar," you said. "Let's go have a baby."
He started the car when something dawned on you.
You smacked his hand, your eyes wide, and you said, "Jake, don't you dare go anywhere."
"What? What'd I do?"
"I love you. I trust you. But we're not going anywhere until you put your glasses on."
"OH SHIT!" he yelled, practically jumping out of the car and sprinting back inside.
