Hidden Tears

Chapter Eight - I Hate You

ALEX
I need to find him. He got hurt again because of me. I can't let this happen. I can't let him get dragged down by me. This isn't his fight it's mine.

I run down the hall turning each possible corner. Where is he? Hall after hall after hall. Ignoring all glares and comments as I push my way around the school.

They almost killed him! They almost killed him!

I think back to what Lace told me. But how did she know?

"You tell that kid John to stay out of others people's business!!" She yells as she slams me into the nearest wall.

"What are you talking about?"

"That guy almost got killed because he wouldn't shut his mouth and stay out of other poeple's business!"

Killed? "Killed?!"

"Yes! Killed! He almost got fucking killed! Tell him to shut his mouth!" She screams and cries.

What surprised me the most were the tears that started to fall down her cheeks. Her grip loosened.

"He almost got killed." She repeated soflty. "He almost killed again."

I push her away. I need to find him. I need to find him.

"It's all his fucking fault!" She lastly exclaims as I run off.

I slow down and stop. I can't take it anymore. I turn around and run in a different direction. It'll all be over soon. It's going to end now.

I head to the bathroom and walk inside the stall pulling a small pocket knife from my backpack. Opening it I look at it and slowly but shake as I put it closer to my wrist.

It's now or never. It'll all be over soon. Just do it. Alex. Do it.

No stop! Stop!

Do it!
Stop!
Cut. Cut! And end it already!
Don't do it. There's another way! Stop!
I shake with fear. I'm so scared. I start tearing up. I shut my eyes close.
Do it!
Stop!
Now!
No!
Yes! NOW!

"Alex!" My hand with the knife suddenly is pulled up away from my wrist.

Shocked, I open my eyes and look up and see John. Angry as ever. I wish I remembered to lock the stall.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He yells as he forcefully takes the knife away.

"You think this is going to stop anything! What will change if you do this?! Huh?! What will happen?!" He takes a hold of my shoulders and shakes me with force. "Answer me!"

I push him away. "Leave me alone." I whisper.

"What?" He breaths out.

"Leave me alone!" I push him away harshly. "This is all your fault! If it weren't for you this wouldn't have happened!"

He looks shocked at me and tries to calm me down. Telling me that it's going to be alright. I ignore him.

"Why didn't you mind your own business?! You stayed! You didn't leave when I told you to!"

"Alex. Alex! Calm down! Ale-"

I scream then start punching the stall's wall. He takes a hold in my wrist and starts to pull me away but I pull my hand back.

"Alex! Stop! Al-"

"I hate you!" I yell as I throw a punch at him hitting his chin and mouth. He shuts up and stares at the floor.

"It's your fault." I whisper. "Your not my friend. You're stupid. I hate you. Leave me alone. Don't ever come near me again." I look up at him and glare saying my next words harshly.

"I hate you and I always will. I don't care about you. And because of you I almost died."

I walk away from him ignoring my knife that is being gripped by his hand tightly.