My eyes slowly opened as I started to wake up from my peaceful sleep, Braydon was still cuddled up into my chest and breathing softly, meaning he was still asleep. I smiled again and ran my hand through the smaller boy's soft hair, laughing softly to myself and kissing his forehead. He was the image of imperfection, yet within in his flaws I had found a real person, just dying to be loved; I had found the image of perfection.
" Step....hen..." Braydon said, opening his eyes just a bit to look at me. I smiled, he smiled back cuddling into my chest and closing his beautiful eyes once again. I knew that doing what I did with Braydon last night was wrong but I couldn't help it, everything he did....the way he talked to me, touched me, kissed me....It felt as if it were a dream and I was still stuck in the world where I could love Braydon legally but when reality hit me, I knew I had to stop it right then and there, but I couldn't. To be honest, I'd never felt this way about a young man before, it had felt weird and....unnatural..I was twenty-two and he was only fourteen, it was too risky to keep the relationship in mind. I felt weird, like my heart had been ripped out of my chest as I looked at the smaller figure curled up in my arms; he needed me so much more than I needed him, but I couldn't tell him, it would ruin him and I never wanted to be apart of that hole in his heart. I took a soft breath, taking in the air in my room and smiled. It smelled of love making and; Braydon.
" Stephen....I..." Braydon said, moving away from me. I looked at him worriedly wondering if something was wrong or we had gone to far....
" Stephen...I'm sorry...I know we can never be and I led you on...." My heart broke in pieces; I hated the truth but I dreaded the day I lost Braydon forever; I couldn't loose him.....
" It's alright.." I said, kissing him once more, savouring the young boy's taste. I wanted to just make love to him, show him that everything was okay and age didn't matter but I'd be fooling myself because age did matter, at least with this type of age difference; if it had been two years, maybe three, it would have been fine however, our age difference was eight years and he wasn't even legal. He smiled and got out of bed, walking over to my side of the bed and picking up his clothes and walking into the bathroom. I just laid there, thinking about Braydon, my parents and everything else that had gone on in my life before these very moments. When the door to the bathroom closed I let the tears fall from my eyes; I hated this so much but I was going to have to let go.
Braydon walked out minutes later, fully clothed and flopped down on the bed looking at my eyes and frowning.
" You were crying weren't you?"
" Yeah..." I said, not wanting to lie to him but he'd probably call my bluff anyways.
" I...I'm such a screw up..." Braydon cried, tears and sobs filled the room as the younger boy broke down, cuddling into me for comfort, I put my arms around him and savoured his touch and attention because I knew I probably would never get this close to Braydon again, at least not until he was older.
" You are not!....your perfect...." I choked, trying to be strong for Braydon's sake. He started crying harder and cuddling closer and looked up when small cries and tears starting falling from my eyes. I held him tight as we both cried; I needed him; I wanted him; I needed to be close to him; his; everything......mine....I cried harder than I had ever cried in years just holding him and wishing it were different, that I wouldn't have met this boy or better yet never invited him in or for pizza or allowed him in my bed....I felt dirty...It was the first time in years, that I felt human....
~~~
I woke up hours later, arms empty and bed cold. I opened my eyes and looked over at the bed beside mine to find no one in it. I sat up, quickly searching the room for any sign of Braydon, however what I found, ripped my heart in two. His notepad and pen lay on on my desk along with his favorite shirt and a note that read :
Dear Stephen...
You've been amazing to me but I don't deserve your love so I'm leaving now and never coming back...please don't try and find me....
Thanks for everything....
Xoxo
Braydon....
My heart sunk; I had lost him.....
YOU ARE READING
Addicted
Teen Fiction" It was five years ago when I first saw him; he was sitting on a park bench in the middle of the afternoon. The perfect image of imperfection." My name is Stephen King; and I'm addicted.
