100 Things You Should Know About Writing (Part 2)

29) Dealing with Fears, Doubts and Insecurities.

In my last section, I wrote about some of the excuses we use not to write. Then I explained how to deal with them to get to the underlying problem. Because "I don't have time", "I'm just not dedicated", and so on aren't your real problems. 

Your real problem will most likely have something to do with the fears, doubts, and insecurities that you face as a writer. 

If you think you're the only one who feels like this and it's discouraging you... Let me just say you're wrong. Every writer has their own unique little cocktail of terrors that threatens to cripple them at any time. 

There's always a part of our lives that works its way into our writing time. Single words spoken thoughtlessly by those whose opinions we value can trigger such an attack of insecurity that we struggle to write. But we don't like being honest with ourselves. We hate admitting that we're afraid of writing and failing. We hate the thought that maybe, just maybe, our work isn't good enough. And we hate looking at ourselves and admitting that we're just frauds and will never be real writers. 

So we flinch back before our thoughts even go that way. And we make excuse upon excuse not to write. Because we can't fail if we don't try, right? 

Wrong. 

The only true failure as a writer is when we give up on writing. 

And trust me, letting ourselves make excuses not to write because of some fear, doubt, or insecurity working its way into our minds means we're giving up. Sometimes, we give up for long periods of time. Some give up forever. 

If given free rein, our fears, doubts, and insecurities breed further fears, doubts, and insecurities. In the beginning, you might start with one. But our brains have a nasty way of looping over and over that thing again and again, adding a bit more spice with every loop. And before we know it, we're not battling one fear. We're battling a whole host of them. 

This is why it's so important to recognize excuses as soon as we make them. The sooner we spot an excuse, the sooner we realize there's a bigger problem. And the sooner we recognize that problem, the easier the problem will be to deal with. 

Note, I'm saying easier. Not easy. Not simple. With time, we do get used to the process and it becomes easier to handle the thoughts that cripple you, but they never really go away. Even us veterans to this writing gig fall pray to the same doubts and fears as the new kids. 

Publishing and success don't make it better. They just add more doubts and fears. 

Why am I telling you this? Because the temptation is there for writers to think If I can only get a publishing deal. Then I'll know I'm a good writer. Or. If I sell a million books, I never have to worry about failure again. 

That's not true. You want to catch a glimpse of a fear monster? Just imagine yourself as a rookie who made it big with their first book. It sold a million copies and the fans are baying to read something just as good. And no one, especially not you, knows if the sequel will hit the same sweet spot. And now, unlike before the first book sold, the stakes are really high.

So, no. Publishing, getting an agent, having a bestselling book in your back list will not help you deal with your fears. They tend to add another bout of complications to worry about instead. 

How does one deal with fears, doubts and insecurities, then? 

Well... it's one of those good news bad news situations. The bad news is, as I've said, that they never go away. 

The good news is that, most of the time, they can be handled just by thinking about them the way you should be thinking. 

Fearing failure? Well, you're not mainly writing to become rich. (Because if you are, you've got a problem.) 

Doubting that you're a good writer? You should be writing for your own enjoyment first. Once you've got that bit down, you can work on your craft and technique. But not knowing some things should really not be a reason for you to stop writing. 

Unsure if what you've written is any good? Write anyway. Remember, you can't fix anything if you haven't written. 

Always remember that you're writing for the love of it first. Because if you don't doubt your love of writing (no matter how pathetic your skills might or might not be), there's really nothing to fear when sitting down to pen some words. 

And on the days that thinking through your fears, doubts, and insecurities doesn't work? Talk to other writers. Things just get a lot less scary when you remember you're not alone. And having someone else set you right might just be the ticket to get you back on track. 

Thanks so much for reading, all! Please don't forget to vote if you've found this section helpful. As always, please feel free to ask questions about this section or your writing in general. I'll respond in the comments, and if your question inspires another section, I'll dedicate it to you. 

Coming up in 100 Things: 

Writing Multiple Points of View (MarissatheMarvelous)

How to Keep Dialogue Real (MarissatheMarvelous)

The Difference Between Writer's Block and Burnout

How to Handle Critique