Scene III
Neal: Thanks, Carla.
Ernie: Hey, Eli. I think Tom needs a hug.
Eli: My buddy. My buddy! My buddy. Okay. Okay.
Tom: You're such a jerk, man.
Ernie: What? Eli likes you. Congratulations.
(all laugh)
Neal: Hey, Mr. K.
Mr. Kowchevski: Mr. Schweeber.
Neal: It's Schweiber. (imitating William Shatner) Ah, Mr. Bones, Mr. Spock. May I join you here in the Enterprise Mess Hall? I'm so hungry, I could eat a tribble.
(Sam laughs)
Bill: I... I don't get it. Who's that?
Neal: John Wayne.
Bill: Oh. Okay. Yeah.
Sam: Why does my mom always put a note in my lunch? It's so embarrassing.
Bill: At least your mom doesn't write the note on the bag.
Sam: (laughs) Are you guys going to the homecoming dance?
Neal: No.
Bill: I really don't see that happening.
Alan: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I crush your Twinkies?
Sam: Hey, what did you do that for?
Alan: Oh, what are you gonna do, go crying to your sister, Sam Rear?
Sam: No. No, I'm not. Mr. Kowchevski! Alan smashed my Twinkies.
Alan: Oh, my God. You're such a woman.
Mr: Kowchevski: Alan. You don't have anything better to do than to crush Mr. Weir's dessert?
Alan: Oh, well, you know, I was just bending down to talk to him and I accidentally leaned on it. I'm sorry.
Mr. Kowchevski: Why don't you do the nice thing and buy him some new ones?
Alan: Oh, yes, sir.
Sam: Thank you, Mr. Kowchevski.
Mr. Kowchevski: Sam, you want some advice? Be a man.
Neal: You shouldn't let Alan do that to you.
Sam: I don't see you doing anything!
Neal: My dad tells me to stay out of fights that don't affect me directly.
Sam: You know, it'd sure be nice if you guys backed me up once in a while. You know, my sister does and she's a girl.
Neal: Yeah, but if we back you up, then Alan's gonna terrorize us too.
Sam: Listen, you guys have gotta help me, or else he's never gonna leave me alone.
Scene IV
Daniel: Ah.
Lindsay: Hey, Daniel.
Daniel: Hey, Lindsay. What's up? Where you been?
Lindsay: I've been... just around.
Daniel: Come on, let's hit the patio.
Lindsay: Oh, the smoking patio.
Daniel: Mm-hm.
Lindsay: Okay.
Daniel: It's all right. They don't bite.
Lindsay: Okay.
Girl #1: Ow! Don't touch me, you scuzz.
Ken: I'm sorry. Your butt was calling to me.
Daniel: Hey, Nicholas. You get those M-80s?
Nick: I don't know, man. You got the money?
Daniel: You guys know Lindsay?
Lindsay: Hi.
Nick: You were in my English class last year, right? You're that chick who got an "A."
Lindsay: Yeah, well... What are you gonna do?
Ken: I don't know. What are you gonna do?
(Nick chuckles)
Lindsay: So, you guys going to the Homecoming Dance?
Nick: Oh, ho.
Ken: I beg your pardon?
Daniel: That's funny. It's a joke, right?
Lindsay: My dad's kinda making me go.
Nick: Your dad's making you go to the dance? Man, what's that all about?
Ken: Who's your dad? Hitler?
(Daniel chuckles)
Lindsay: I just thought maybe you guys were gonna go... to make fun of people. I mean, that could be kinda funny, right?
Ken: I would go, but I have a prior engagement. My cousin just sent me a bunch of mushrooms, and I'm gonna eat them.
Nick: Look, you know they're gonna play disco. Right? Disco sucks. I hate disco. Ooh-Ooh! Coo-coo coo coo-coo! I'd rather make out with Principal Farber.
Daniel: Ooh, again?
Nick: Shut up, man.
Daniel: Ow.
Nick: What, what? Oh, my God, man! Oh! I can't wait till you're not paying attention. Keep it up!
Daniel: Check it out. What's she want?
Millie: Lindsay? Linds?
Ken: Friend of yours... Linds?
Lindsay: I'll be right back, okay?
Daniel: Okay.
Ken: Okay.
Lindsay: Millie, what are you doing out here?
Millie: What are you doing out here? This place is for freaks!
Lindsay: Millie, go away.
Millie: Today's the deadline to enter the Academic Decathlon. Mr. Rossi said you didn't turn in your application.
Lindsay: What? Millie, I'm not entering.
Millie: But you're our best mathlete.
Lindsay: Could we not talk about this right now?
Millie: Lindsay, what's wrong with you?
Lindsay: There's nothing wrong with me. I just don't want to do Decathlon this year.
Millie: Aren't you at least gonna help us sell refreshments at the Homecoming Dance? We're trying to raise money to buy the school a computer.
(Lindsay shushes)
YOU ARE READING
Freaks and Geeks Script
Teen FictionA high school mathlete starts hanging out with a group of burnouts while her younger brother navigates his freshman year. (Disclaimer. I do not own any of this content)
