A Court of Fire and Sun

chapter nine

**Esther**

"I've extended my apologies to her," it was Rhysand's voice that she heard coming from Helion's office.

It was kind of dishonorable for me to eavesdrop but it was hard to avoid when my room was so close. I stilled myself, concentrating hard. I knew what they were talking about, Lucien's surprise visit.

It was true, Rhysand had apologized and Mor did as well. But, Helion was just getting back after leaving again for two days. It was his first time seeing Rhys since he departed. There was pause in conversation before Helion started. "I appreciate your apology and Morrigan's. However, I need you to understand that she is my mate. When you put her in danger or you scare her... It would be like someone threatening Feyre. You are my friend. I want to help you. But I will not hesitate to close my library doors."

Helion was sticking to the story good. The story of me being his mate and lady of his court. He was obviously doing a convincing job because Rhys believed him. "I understand that. He won't be back."

"Good. Now, let's have a drink."

The clinking of glass was the cue to tiptoe back into my room. I eased the door shut with a soft sigh and laid my head against the stone. It was a constant struggle to remind myself that I was safe. That no one was coming.

I had spent so long suffering and in fear that it was hard to let my nerves be at ease. It was like expecting a trap at every corner. Maybe it was also the terrorizing thought that this could all be some gruesome trick and a jape of the Autumn Court's doing.

I turned on my heel and was met with Taryn. I gasped, startled. The female rolled her eyes, "You aren't good at being secretive. Stop eavesdropping on the high lords."

I rolled my eyes and inspected the new dresses laid on my bed. "These are beautiful."

I ran my finger down the fabric of the first one. It was sheer and silky all at the same time. It was something I hadn't seen before. A beautiful ivory dress that looked almost iridescent. The neck line was low cut and scrunch at the chest. A deep slit running up the side. "This is gorgeous. For what occasion?"

"The material is something I hadn't seen before. I think the iridescence will catch the sun nicely. Maybe you can wear it to an important meeting or loafer around. I don't mind. I just thought it would look lovely on you."

My skin flushed and I knew pink bit at my cheeks. "Thank you, Taryn. For all of the kindness you have shown and continue to do so."

"It's my pleasure, lady." The woman departed with a sly grin and I watched her dark braid whip behind her as she exited the room.

For a moment longer I admired the dress. It was gorgeous. Maybe I could talk Helion into bringing me into town to the cafe again. No, this dress was meant for something different. I need a reason to wear this.

"There's a club in Velaris. Rita's. I insist you come."

I jumped, being startled once again. Gods-damn these fae and their ability to sneak up on one another. Rhysand was standing in the doorway with a glass of amber liquid in hand.

"Oh, I don't know about that." A club? I had never so much as been around more than a few people at a time. There was no way I could handle a crowd.

What was our kind even like a club? I could close my eyes and see a dim lit room, everyone dancing, drinking... Helion, me pressed against him.

"It's just an offer. You could bring Helion. He needs a night away."

My cheeks burned and I nodded, "Thank you. I will discuss it with him."

****

I sipped at the cup of pale pink wine. There was a plate of roasted potatoes and leg of lamb in front of me.  I had only nibbled at the food, waiting nervously for Helion to join me. Would Helion even considering going to a club? And could I stomach that? What if I watched him dance with other fae? Could I handle seeing him pull a female or male to bed?

My cheeks heated and I tried to push the thoughts away. He wasn't really my mate, so whatever he actually did shouldn't concern me at all. I wasn't jealous; I was just.... Maybe I was worried that if he brought someone with him it would ruin our lie, surely he would be more careful.

"Esther? Your food is getting chilled." Helion took the took across from me and food appeared onto his place. He didn't waste time, picking up the gold fork and knife and cutting into the lamb.

"I'm not actually that hungry, this is my second helping." A lie, but who really cared.

His eyes seared into me for a moment before he shrugged softly. "How was your day?"

A smile tugged at my lips, "It was good. I did some research which didn't amount to anything. But Taryn made me a new dress and," I trailed off.

"And?"

"Well, Rhysand was telling me about Rita's and he invited us.

Helion had the golden goblet lifted to his mouth but I still seen one of his eyebrows peak in interest. "Rita's? I haven't been there since I first visited Velaris." He stayed silent for a few moments after that seeming to run over the thought.

The sunlight in the room was drawn to him and when he turned his arm to brush his hair the golden snake cuff shimmered. I had to look away. Helion was truly the most gorgeous male I had ever seen, even if that total didn't amount to a lot. Seeing him made every part of my insides twist, begging to be closer to him. Mercifully, he pulled me from those thoughts. "Do you think you would want to do that? It's usually a decent size crowd, and I've seen you flinch at a table full for dinner. I can't promise we won't run into Lucien there seeing as how he is technically a Night Court citizen now." His eyebrows knitted together but his face softened, making him seem younger than the immortal already was.

I tilted my head, was he worried? "I think I would like to try. Maybe it's what I need to become normal."

Confusion covered his features, "You are normal. Normal is different for everyone. You had terrible circumstances and none of that was your fault. Don't let it discount your character."

I looked down at the plate which was now empty and already clean. I seen my reflection in a warped manor. My cheeks looked obstructed, my freckles stretched and the hair on top of my head in the shape of a cone. This is how I felt on the inside. But that's not how Helion seen me. "I think we should go. You can teach me to have fun."

A smile like one I hadn't seen before painted his lips. Excitement and hunger. "Then you should change clothes. We'll be taking the Pegasus."