My Brother's Best Friend

Chapter 13

Cameron

Maddie is already parked in my driveway when I get home. She's sitting on the hood of her car in a hoodie and sweatpants, a textbook sprawled out in front of her. I never thought Maddie's studying would ever turn me on, but here we are.

I smile, flinging my duffel bag from practice over my shoulder. I'm still in my training leggings and cleats, no shirt on, and as soon as Maddie sees me her eyes turn that dark blue again. "Hey."

She strums her pencil along her bottom lip, biting the edge of the eraser once she gets to the end, and I almost give in. I almost kiss her, but I don't.

"Studying?" I ask when she still hasn't replied. "How long have you been here for?"

"You told me to meet you at 7," she huffs, glancing down at her watch. "It's 7:30."

Prompt and on time. Never missing a beat. It used to irritate the shit out of me, but now it's just...sexy. A girl who's driving me crazy and has brains? It's incredible.

And dangerous.

"I'm sorry. Practice went a bit over. Did you want to come inside?" I'm standing over her as she sits on the hood of the car, and she peers up at me through those eyelashes again, that damn look of innocence written on her face.

"I don't think that's the best idea," she admits, and I wonder if I get to her the same way she gets to me.

"Okay, well, look..." I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Mads, what we did was..." I still haven't been able to find the words for it.

She waves her hand for me to continue.

"It was great, okay? I mean, I really enjoyed it, but if Ethan finds out..."

"He'll kill us both," she finishes for me. "I get it. I kind of knew this was coming, so it's not a big shocker really."

She's not pissed? I think back to how many times I've been cussed at by countless women, but she just shoves her textbook back into her backpack as if everything is fine.

"So..." I trail off, trying to figure out what it is I'm feeling right now.

Am I disappointed?

Am I sad?

I don't think I was ending things. Yeah, if Ethan found out he would kill us, but I would have found a way probably. Knowing she's fine with never hooking up again irritates me. Maybe it didn't mean as much to her as I thought it did.

"Honestly, it's fine. I'm not going to act like the rest and get pissed. I knew what I was getting myself into."

I almost laugh, but I don't. Does she think she's like the rest? I mean, I get why she would think that, but doesn't she realize I care about her?

Why would she when you treated her like shit for the past three years?

Pushing the thought out of my head, I grab onto her hand and feel the smoothness of her palm. "You weren't like them," I tell her. "You're more than them, Mads, but I can't give you what you want. You deserve someone that can show you off and tell the entire world about you, not someone who would have to keep you a secret."

She grips tightly onto my hand, almost like she doesn't want to let go.

"I haven't been the same since my mom passed, and there's a lot of things wrong with me that I still have to figure out. You'll get hurt if we continue to do this, and that's why I'm cutting things off. Not because you were someone for me to just use, okay?"