Rose's World

Chapter Seven - The Beach

Chapter Seven - The Beach

"I will follow you down till the sound of my voice will haunt you." - Fleetwood Mac [Silver Springs]

Dedicated to Lisa again because she is the reason I write this xx

AN: Shorter chapter, and doesn't really focus on Rose and Ben - instead it focuses on Rose's backstory.

♡ ♡ ♡

"What the fuck? You befriend me, you kiss me, you spend a week trying to talk to me, and then? You blow me off."

Oh yes. I had resorted to screaming. A mature approach, guaranteed to work.

Not.

Ben shifted in his seat, which added to the whole 'interrogation' set-up the room had. It had been difficult, but I had managed to spring and corner him during his inevitable coffee break, which he only ever took alone, or with me.

He swallowed uncomfortably. "Do we have to do this now?"

I sighed noisily to add a dramatic effect. "Did you have to kiss me when you did? Did you have to hang up the phone when you did? Did you have to-"

"Okay, I get it!" Ben said loudly, cutting me off. "I'm autisti-"

"Don't you dare hide behind your disability!" I screamed. Placid, plain Rose had been replaced with a fiery, screechy witch. Well, I was done playing polite. If Ben thought he could bullshit me, and then cut me off, he had another thing coming. "You are an able person who can function normally and you know very well how human emotions work, you twit!"

And that, ladies and gents, was the moment I lost it.

Tessa, having overheard one of our screeching, came bursting in, and I was faced with Ben's ultimate sadness that was written across his face. So I, sleep deprived and yet to have my first coffee of the day, broke down crying in the middle of the room, and continued to bawl my eyes out as Charlie drove me home, after Tessa had called her.

I sobbed into my wrists, head bowed and mascara running down my face. Charlie merely sighed.

"You're a real mess, aren't you?" she said, gentle and quiet. "And you think nothing interesting ever happens to you."

"Shut up, Charlie," I groaned, sniffling pathetically.

She sighed. "Jonathan is coming over later tonight."

I looked up at her, and she shrugged. "I can't put everything on hold for you, Rose. I have to play bloody taxi for you, and get caught up in your miserable life. I need something to get me through."

She pulled over beside our flat, and continued talking and we entered. "You're so caught up in yourself lately, you haven't even noticed how happy Jonathan makes me. For once, my life has something fucking great in it, and I refuse to let you ruin any of this for me."

All I could do was nod miserably and trail up to my bedroom. I let my coffee go cold and couldn't even fall asleep in my mess of a bed. I took to my unpredictable shower.

The rusty pipes drizzled out lukewarm water, and as I scrubbed furiously at my skin, I sobbed. I had always found the shower and good place to cry, because your eyes are already red and puffy, and no one can hear you over the sound of water running, or in my case, the sound of pipes attempting to work. I cried and cried, rubbing my skin with a loofah until it turned pink.

Rock bottom. I had reached it, and the worse part was, I had done it single handedly. I had put stones in my pockets and jumped right in. I spent so long staring at the ocean that I forgot that I didn't know how to swim.