Hurt

Chapter 5

While Max and Rebecca went off to talk. Nathan brought me to his house for a little bit. He let me rest for a little while as he went off to the studio with the boys. I went in twitter to see how many followers and tweets i had. This one tweet caught my eye. 

" you look like a ugly cow, is Nath blind!? Do you look yourself? You're gross! " 

That hit me. I was all Alone so I took a couple breaths. More hate came and I broke and hurt myself. I quickly covered my arm so Nath wouldn't see it. Nathan came back and asked why my eyes were red. 

"Babe why are your eyes red?" 

"It's nothing Nath" 

"Can I see your twitter?" 

"Here you go" *tears* 

He reads the tweets and I can see his face drop. He looks at me and he sees my face buried in my arms. He moves my arms and sees my cuts.  

"Nath Im so sorry I hate myself!" 

*I run off into the bathroom* 

I locked myself in the bathroom and Nath came running after me. 

"Jilly please open then door" 

"You probably think I'm a freak. Why would you want a girl with cuts?" 

" Youre not a freak! Please open" 

I put my hand on the door and I feel Nathan put his hand on mine through the door. 

"Babe you're amazing! Why don't you understand that! You're my girl! You're so beautiful and you make me smile" 

I stand up and open the door and Nathan looks at me with tears down his face. I hugged Nath so hard as I cried on his shoulder. 

"It's just so hard" 

"Babe I know but you're the strongest girl I know! *Kisses me right on lips* 

I blushed and looked at Nathan weirdly.  

"I'm sorry Jill I Didn't mean to" 

"Nath it's ok I kinda like it" 

He brings me onto the coach and I rested my head on his lap and I fell asleep on him. As I was sleeping I heard him say something. 

"I love her so much. I don't think she loves me. I wish I could show her how beautiful she is because truly she is gorgeous I want her to be mine."

As i discovered a couple years ago i talk in my sleep and i might of said something. Nath heard all of it.

"No,No,NOOOO! Dont say that to me please dont *tears stream down my face* NO! im not fat and ugly no no! get away!"

I woke up finding myself crying and hyperventilating. All Nath could do is hug me and tell me everything is going to be alright. In my ear he was singing I'll Be Your Strength.

" We can stand so tall together We can make it through the stormy weather We can go through it all together, do it all together "

As i was in his arms i felt like i was in heaven. Where would i be with out Nathan? Where? Im so scared where my life will bring me if i dont have him. I know i dont have Nath though. He can pick a prettier girl and a more worthy girl than me. im such a freak. Everyone thinks im a fuck up. My family My friends People on twitter..... EVERYONE! 

The next morning i woke up to breakfast. Nath had made eggs and bacon and made me a nice cuppa. 

" Hey babe * kisses me on the cheek* ive made you breakfast ill be leaving in like five minutes to go to the studio."  * he walked out the front door"

"Do I dare check twitter?" i went on to see more hate after more hate and more...... oh wait what do i see here? 

" it is true I am dating the wonderful @JillianLeighTW She is my world and i love her."

then i saw a tweet from Max  "Rebecca youre my sweetheart i love you"

Then i saw Jays Tweet! "Valentina youre a total babe i love you with all my heart"

Is this the Valentina ive known since i was a baby! I have to call her!

"Hey val! ok so i just went on twitter to see Jay tweeting about a valentina... Is that you?"

"uhmmmm Yeah it is!"

" Why didnt you tell me!?" 

" i dont know but im with nathan!" 

" OH MY GOD!"

"we have to get together soon! how about i fly you to london so you can see Jay?"

"OMG if you do ill love you forever thank you so much"

" Ill send you an email with the information see you when you get here!"

I now have to call Rebecca and see how she is because the last time i saw her was when we got off the plane That sneaky girl left with Max without telling me! 

"REBECCA WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?"

"well long story short... Max and I fell in love and then he brought me out to dinner to find out he loved me since they met us in New York!"

"ooooo girl did you get it in?"

"uhmmm yes but shhhhhhh!"

 "ok ill talk to you later"

"alright bye girly text me"

I left to go to the store and met a girl named Gloria she was a sweet girl. She knew me because of Nathan because she was a big fan of The Wanted. So i kept talking to her and invited her to my place for a cuppa.

"hey how are you?"

"Im great you?"

"im alright thanks"

" so ive been wanting to tell you something You and Tom would look so cute together"

"you really think so!?" gloria looking at me with a shocked face

"uhm yes!"

I left to go get dressed really quick forgetting I invited Tom over real quick because i had to pay him for the Just B bracelets i bought for a couple people. 

* Knock Knock* Gloria answered the door. 

TO BE CONTINUED