You Don't Know Me ~ An Arcane Fanfiction

People Are Like Ants: Sometimes You Have To Crush 'Em

Possible TW for Jinx having a psychotic episode. Please let me know in the comments if there's anything I can do to improve my representation. The title is foreboding, I know, but I don't think anything too sad happens in this chapter.

The next thing Caitlyn knows, Jinx is navigating through the hidden backstreets of Zaun for a secret route into Piltover. They're going to see Vi, apparently. Needless to say, this wasn't really what she was expecting, but then again: this is Jinx. Unpredictable is predictable in her case. 

The way she knows every twist and turn like the back of her hand is both terrifying and impressive, as is her sudden shift in demeanor. One moment, she's vulnerable and unsure, and the next she's enthusiastically leaping across a 10-foot gorge with all the grace of a trained dancer at the mere mention of  possibly sneaking into the Kiramman estate. Unhelpfully, Caitlyn's brain keeps reminding her that in this territory, she would stand no chance against the other girl.

There is a clattering sound as Jinx scrambles up a rusty old ladder onto someone's tin rooftop. Caitlyn follows, and stops at the top to catch her breath before looking up.

Wow.

Although she's seen it many times before, the view of the Undercity is truly stunning if you know where to look. It's a cesspool of neon lights and bright colours contrasted by a dark green-hued backdrop of cheap building materials, fog and darkness. The way the different layers disappear further into the fumes the lower down they go is both a magical spectacle and a grim reminder about the reality of this place. Still, it's nothing less than an incredible view. 

Jinx appears to feel the same. She's sitting on the edge of the perilous viewpoint, her legs lazily dangling into the chasm below as she leans back on bony hands. Caitlyn raises an eyebrow as she watches the other girl lift her fingers, place them very specifically and then press them together like she's trying to crush something. She turns to face her.

'The people are so tiny from up here. They look like ants, right?' Jinx muses. While Caitlyn talks, she goes back to doing... whatever she's doing with her hands, this time with even more focus. 'I suppose they do a bit.'

'Yeah, exactly. So I like to just, get 'em between my fingers, and-' she presses her index and thumb together again to demonstrate, 'Squish 'em.' Jinx looks to Caitlyn as if for approval, but it's obvious from the look in her eyes she doesn't really care. Although it has some rather concerning implications about her attitudes towards human life (we'll get back to those later, she tells herself), Caitlyn opts to just go with it. 'Wait until you see Piltover,' she jokes, earning a snort.

'Good answer, cupcake,' the blue-haired girl responds, but doesn't give Caitlyn a chance to continue. 'Cupcake. What's up with that anyways?'

'What- what do you mean?'

'You and my sister. What's up with you guys?' Jinx finishes, looking at the other girl with an expression of what can only be described as pure smugness. It's the same look a little kid would get from teasing a friend about a crush. A pit in Caitlyn's stomach opens, and she really, really hopes the warm feeling creeping across her face is just light from the sun finally creeping in through a shaft above. 'Nothing's up with us. Vi and I are close allies, yes, but-'

Jinx cackles. 'Close allies? Puh-lease. You guys are so into each other.' She spins around to fully face Caitlyn, who is now acutely aware that she is blushing somewhat furiously. Gods, this sunlight is not helping my case. 'I'm like, crazy or whatever, and even I can see that. I won't lie, I was pretty pissed off about it at first, but I'm pretty sure the not-real you hurting me isn't the same as the real you. '

Caitlyn furrows her brows. Her flustered manner suddenly stiffens. 'What do you mean?'

'Are you, like, blind? When she has nightmares you literally cuddle her to sleep-'

'How do you - no, forget it.' Caitlyn sighs, and takes a step closer. Jinx still looks slightly confused until -  'I mean about the real me.'

'Oh.' Jinx turns away, and fixes her gaze on the abyss over the rooftop. 'Shut up,' she hisses under her breath to someone out of view, narrowing her pink, tired eyes. 'Jinx, are-'

Something snaps.

'SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!' Pulling out Caitlyn's pistol she had taken earlier, Jinx's face twists into a savage snarl. The former enforcer stumbles backwards, dark memories of the way she had acted before Vi's injury playing at her mind. Cautiously, she puts her hands up. I regret giving her that thing now. Jinx lets out a cry before pointing the pistol desperately at the air around her. It ends up angled directly at Caitlyn's face. Great. 

Although she is now quite sure Jinx does not intend to shoot her, she is also very sure that in this state of mind it is still very much in the realm of possibility, darkly recalling Silco's death. God, that must've been- I can't even imagine how she felt after that. 'I was trying to have a conversation!' the girl in question spits, sharply turning and aiming at nothing that Caitlyn can see. Jinx's eyes wildly dart around, and if anything she looks more like she's trying to protect herself. Although Caitlyn breathes a silent sigh of relief she is no longer looking down the barrel of her own gun, her stomach still churns violently as her heart wrenches in sympathy for the other girl.

How do I stop this? She thinks back to that day on the platform. Although it hadn't ended well because of the firelights (though she didn't hold that against them), it seemed like Vi had been getting through to her after she touched her arm. The physical contact had made her snap out of it, almost...

Caitlyn takes a deep breath in and steps forward, placing her hand on Jinx's shoulder with the most sympathetic look she can manage. She tenses up for a moment before meeting her eyes, and pulling away. 'Don't touch me,' she says quietly. 'I'll hurt you. Sorry about that, by the the way.' Jinx puts the pistol back in its holster, and Caitlyn can breathe easy again at last. 

'Don't kick yourself over it. It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have been so intrusive,' she ventures. 'I shouldn't have tried to shoot you,' Jinx replies dryly. 'I dunno. Sometimes the others get on top of me, and I... loose control, I guess. They're not always bad.' Having learned from her previous experience, Caitlyn doesn't ask who the others are. Jinx isn't looking her in the face anymore, guilt at what she suspects may be more than just this incident flashing in her eyes.  'I see. Is... is that what happened with Vi?'

'Yeah.'

'Okay. Do you want to get going and see her?'

'Yeah.'

When we get back to Piltover, I'll make sure Jinx gets the help she needs. I don't think she's beyond repair just yet, Caitlyn thinks to herself.

~~~~~

Author's note: I think Google is concerned for my mental health because my entire search history at the moment is stuff like 'trauma induced psychosis'.