My Darkest Hour

4

(Desmond's POV)

When I awoke, getting out of bed didn't wake Pearl like it usually did. A fact that confused and stirred a disturbance within me. Harper normally woke when I did, a smile on her face despite being woken much earlier than when she needed to get up.

Still, when I got out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready for work half an hour later, she slept the same. Brushing the thoughts aside, I bent over the bed to give her a kiss, using my arms on either side of her body to keep myself balanced.

Harper let out a groan as her eyes squinted open, a smile appearing on her face nonetheless.

"Goodmorning."

"Morning," she greeted, glancing over to the clock on the nightstand. "Goodness, how did it get so late? You're all dressed and ready to leave. Why didn't you wake me?"

"I figured I'd let you sleep in for once, even if its only half an hour longer."

She hummed in response, studying my face as she got lost in thought.

"What?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

Harper shook her head, as if to physically break herself away from her thoughts. "It's nothing, I was just thinking of something Willow said. Would you like breakfast?"

"I mean, yeah but-" Before I could finish, she was rolling out of bed and on the way to the bathroom. She held up a finger, motioning me to wait a second, then went into the bathroom. Aa short while after closing the door, I heard the toilet flush, then she opened the door to welcome me in while she finished getting ready.

"What were you saying?"

"What did Willow say?" I asked, leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. 

Pearl opened the tooth paste and squeezed some onto her brush, shrugging as she answered, "She was just saying, having kids can put a strain on your relationship. We should just enjoy being married for the time being, and not worry about adding kids to the mix." She paused, going over the words in her head again no doubt. "Do you think she's right? Maybe we're being ungrateful and should just be thankful for one another right now."

I felt a bit of annoyance rise within me. Why must we always hear of other people's opinions? The only person I care about what they think is Harper, because she's the one living everything with me. "No, I think she's wrong. She doesn't know what we are or aren't ready for."

"I suppose," she agreed reluctantly, rinsing her mouth in the sink. The thoughts that went through her mind were written clearly on her face, for a moment I wondered if everyone could read her as well as I could. She seemed to be an open book. "It's just.... I know trying to conceive is very draining, and stressful. Tracking cycles, trying all the different technics."

"Are we trying to conceive?" I asked, using finger quotations, which made her giggle.

"Well, we aren't preventing it." A small blush appeared on her cheeks at the talk of sex. A fact I found odd. She busied herself by throwing her hair up into a ponytail.

"No," I agreed. "But we haven't been very hardcore about it either. Just letting things happen if they're going to happen, and not preventing the possibility."

As she finished tying her hair up, her movements slowed she turned to face me, biting her bottom lip. "But I do want to try. I do want a baby."

"Well, what's stopping us? Let's try."

Her face reddening again, her eyes darted from me to the bed momentarily, which could barely be seen from the bathroom. "What about work?"

"I can be late once in a while."

*****

Later, as I drove to work, I thought back to last week, after Harper had tended for Willow. For days she kept telling me she was fine, but her movements were much slower, more deliberate and decided. I know she was in pain, as she normally gets after overdoing it while on her period.

I found it so odd her period caused her so much trouble, as it didn't seem to be much of a bother to most other women.

In the beginning of our relationship, I wondered if she was being dramatic, or trying to draw attention. After getting to know her better, I knew that wasn't the case. Although outgoing and perky, Harper was not the type to relish the attention people gave her.

It still irritated me that she agreed to babysit for Willow in the first place. What was she thinking? Was the pain that she endured for days really worth it?

The thought suddenly made me freeze, as it brought another question to mind. If Harper had this much trouble with a monthly period, how hard was pregnancy going to be on her body? If she was in that much pain watching children for a mere few hours, how much pain is it going to cause her to raise a child?

Despite being late already, I sat silently in the parking lot for another ten minutes, going over the thoughts in my head. Maybe Willow was right. Even if she wasn't, did we really give this enough thought?

A/N:

Short chapter, I KNOW. Sorry not sorry. Just wanted to get it updated, also seemed like the perfect spot to end it and... yeah.

Quick question, are you liking having chapters in Desmond's point of view? Or should I just stick to Harper?