Games

15

I tried to hide how I really felt inside from Oliver those next few hours, I really did. It was just so fucking hard. I was stupid for even thinking that Oliver may have felt something back for me. This was just friends having sex and I needed to realize that. I had to stop letting my emotions get in the way.

But I was horrible at hiding how I felt. As soon as Oliver said that we weren't anything serious, my heart sunk. I mean, it was quite obvious I liked Oliver more than he liked me: I kissed him every chance I got, we cuddled more often than not, and every split second of the day I was either spending time with him or thinking about spending time with him.

We went back to the house not an hour after it happened. I was quieter than usual, but responsive when he began kissing me, and I didn't hesitate to let him push me on the couch and have me right there, soaked bodies moving against one another, backs arching and moans filling the large room. After all, I had to act like everything was okay, right?

Wet and dirty, Oliver left me with a quick kiss to run upstairs and shower. He offered me to join but I didn't want to. I told him I would take one later.

At that moment I just needed time to myself to think things over. I mentally slapped myself for being so unlike myself. If I kept that up Oliver would surely notice that something was wrong.

But that was just it; I think part of me wanted him to know what was wrong. I wanted him to know how I felt; how he was hurting me even though he really wasn't meaning to. It wasn't like he knew about my feelings for him, and if I stayed like this he would probably think that he had deliberately caused whatever was wrong with me. And no matter how much I wanted to shove him or kick him or just flat out hurt him for not seeing how much I cared for him, I couldn't let him think that.a

Unsure of what to do, I stood up from the grossly wet couch and headed over to the island counter in the kitchen where my phone lay. Hesitantly, I unlocked it and dialed Dan's number right away, holding the phone to my ear and listening to the trilling.

"Why the hell are you calling me?" Dan answered, leaving me to smile weakly at his greeting. "Shouldn't you be getting it on with Oliver right now?"

The smile on my face quickly faded, replaced with a screwy look and purse of my lips. "About that."

"Oh fuck mate," he sighed. "What happened."

And then it all came out. I told him about the house and the lake and how perfect it had all been. I told him about me admitting to Oliver that I had told him about Oli and I, and then I told him about Oliver saying there was nothing serious between us.

"It's a shit feeling," I said into the phone, now leaning against the island with an arm folded over my chest. "I was just really hoping he'd like me back you know? It's been too long since I was in a relationship and in my opinion we were kind of already in one. Well, I mean we fucking acted like we were and I really liked that. Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

"No, no not at all," Dan reassured me. "There's nothing wrong with you; there's something wrong with him if he can't see how fucking amazing you are. You two would make the fucking cutest couple and it's his loss if he can't understand that."

"I'm so confused mate," I sighed. "Do I tell him I like him or don't I? I don't want to ruin things but I don't know how long I can go without telling him."

"Just wait til the right moment, okay? Don't just blurt it out, ease into it." I nodded, although it was a pointless gesture, as he continued. "But listen I hate to do this but I have I go. I hope things work out, and if they don't you'll have my shoulder to cry on alright?"