Whenever You're Ready

1

Tuesday, June 21

"Y/n we've been trying for almost two years! Nothing is happening!"

"You think I don't know that? We've been doing this for almost two years, Danny!"

You head to the bed and sit down with your hands folded. "I think we should stop." You said in almost a whisper.

"What?" He turns to you.

"Like you said, nothing is happening. Why should we keep doing this to ourselves when it's going nowhere?" You sigh.

After a short silence he begins, "There's one thing we haven't tried." He walks towards you as you look up.

"Let's get an iui done."

You scoff, "You saw what happened when we tried doing the ivf."

He looks to the side and licks his lips. "I know. But this could work Y/n." He holds your hands while kneeling at your feet. "Please just try this one thing. If it doesn't work, we'll stop."

He starts again once he notices your silence, "I'm starting to think it's just me." He exhales.

"Ok." you stand, and he does too.

"You know I love you right" He kisses your forehead.

"I know, I love you too."

"I have to go." he grabs his coat and puts it on.
"Why don't you make an appointment?"
"Call me so I can take the day off." he kisses your cheek.

"Ok, have a good day." You say as you both walk to the front door. You wave to him just after he looks back and smiles.
With an exhale, you close the door. Brushing your fingers through your hair. Soon you dial the number you've been dreading to call.

It's not that I didn't want to try or that I don't want a baby anymore, but I'm tired of trying and nothing working. We've both had one hell of a year already, I just don't want to go through another unfortunate try. It's already hard enough to not know what the problem is. I don't want to be let down again.

____

You sit at the table eating in silence waiting for him to get home, but he's late as usual. I don't even know if I really want to do this. We've been struggling way too much. It's not like we can't just be together without kids. When we first got together, we did have a conversation about children. I told him I wanted at least two. He told me he never thought of having kids, but if it were to happen, he wouldn't mind. Then, after a while, I said I wanted to start trying and here we are. Before you're able to overthink even more you hear the keys in the door and wait for your husband to walk in.

"Hi, baby." He kisses you on the cheek.

"You're late again." You get up and start preparing his dinner.

"I know Y/n, I'm sorry. I made sure to do a lot today so tomorrow I can come home early." He hugs you from behind. Wet kisses meeting the side of your neck. Melting into him, you feel that not so foreign feeling in your stomach you get every time you touch. You're not giving in though. He can't just pretend he didn't do anything by distracting you with his good looks.
You give him the food with a shove and he takes a seat in front of you.

"We should start looking for baby stuff." He shoves the fork in his mouth.

"Huh?" You furrow your eyebrows at his strange statement. "For what? I'm not even pregnant yet."

"I have a good feeling about this one Y/n." Looking up from his food to meet your eyes already looking at his nervously.

"I'm going to bed, goodnight." You said before hurrying off to your shared room.