When you fall for someone

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I come back into my apartment, quite suprised at what happened. It could've ended him a bad way, but it didn't, we're still not friends though.

As i open my jacket I hear the doorbell.
I quitely go and open the door and notice Ryen standing there.
'Forget something?' I ask and allow him to enter my room.
He doesn't move and keeps staring into my eyes. It scares me a little bit. He sure is extremely unpredictable. He looks at me for 3 more minutes and throws his lips at mine.
Ryen kissed me.
Ryen is kissing me right now.
I kiss him back and allow his tongue to enter my mouth. I know I shouldn't, but the pleasure. No one has ever kissed me like that.
His hands start roaming around my body and so do mine around his.
'I hate that I like you' he whispers in my ear starts kissing my neck.
Fuck. I hate that he has this effect on me. I can't say anything back.
Instead i take of his shirt, and start kissing him everywhere.
'You wanna do this?' He asks me hoping I say yes.
I don't reply, instead i kiss him harder. His spit tasted just like strawberries. I tasted him once and I wanted more. Way way more.


We make out until.....
I hear my alarm ringing.
Obviously it was a dream.
I scream at myself. Why do I always fall so easily? He probably won't even be nice to me in the office.
AND HOLD UP
I LIKE HIM? No.
No. I don't.
It's just a dream, he is a dick and i hate him.
I brush off all of these thoughts and get dressed.
Guess I am definitely avoiding Ryen.

I decide to wear a basic outfit and leave

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I decide to wear a basic outfit and leave.
When I reach the office I see Ryen hitting on a girl with blue hair. She was pretty. She was prettier than me. I don't care though, I don't need him distracting me today, I have enough shit to think about.
Throughout the day I learn more about 'Emma'
Emma is a brilliant student who aced her exams.
Lucy was an average student who barely got C's.
Emma went to college and was top of class.
Lucy never went to college and became a scum.
Yeah i don't know how I can pull off being someone so different.
Obviously Emma was better, she is kind, sweet and nice. She work hard. She had her whole life planned and wants to do so much. Too bad she never existed.
All of this is too much for me, tomorrow is my first day. I can't do it. I can. I have to. I have no other option.
After the day is gone and i reach home i instantly fall asleep. I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow, it's going to be a big day.

The next day -
I wake up and get ready. First impressions count the most don't they?

I wear something super extra because well, you either look broke or you look like a million bucks

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I wear something super extra because well, you either look broke or you look like a million bucks.
My driver is here.
I sit in the car.
Ryen didn't come. Again.
Ryen doesn't effect me though. We rarely talk nowadays. Sometimes I regret befriending him, atleast when we hated each other, we still talked. Now it's nothing. We don't communicate at all. I don't know much about him again. All I know is he is Ryen. And that I might have the smallest crush on him.
Reached.
I am grateful for Trevor. He never abandons me. He always drives me. We are good friends. He is a good listener. I have ranted about some shit to him. My main problem is, I tell others about me, but it's all fake. No one except Jacob knows the real me. No matter how much I change now, my past will never change.
Entering the school is....weird.
Too many memories that I have suppressed for my own good.
I enter the staff room.
I meet everyone there, no one quite interesting or worth remembering until I see him again.
Him.
I remember him.
I hope he remembers me.
No one can ever forget what he looks like.
I have never seen anyone like him.
I am checking him out, I should stop, but I am a simp.
Quit eyeballing him, I hear someone say in their mind.
I turn around and see a girl standing there.
'Hey' she greets me.
I greet her back.
'What are you dressed like?' she says out of nowhere 'You look like a rebellious teen'
No one says anything about my style.
No one.
I know it is amazing and I love it.
No, I control myself, I can't make enemies.
'Have seen yourself girl? Which teacher you wanna impress? Or is it a student?'
I hate that I let anger take the best of me.
I know I am going to get in trouble.
She is the principal's daughter after all.

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