The Sunflower Vampire

Chapter Two: Where is My Innocence Going?

Finally, he approached me and asked if I could be his Father. It's not something I wasn't expecting, as I have always been his father figure. But now it's official. Not exactly, though; I still need to confirm with the Director about that. He can deny me of my fathership. I am going to his office to certify my status as Nine's adoptive parent. My heart is beating almost as fast as when I declared my love for Anne, and I'm cold and sweating; my palms are wet as I've just washed them but sticky and gross. I came up to his office's door and knocked slowly, and said behind the door:— Director? It's Paul, and I have something to say.— You may come in. I already know what you are going to say. So I went inside his room. He turned around his chair with a mysterious gaze covered by his sunglasses as if my visage was already premeditated. — I know what you've been up doing. — What? I was trembling my hands, avoiding looking at him and making eye contact, and he said, frankly:— I've been monitoring your visits to Subject 09. I'm not upset or surprised by the child's reaction to your caring. — So you know that he considers me his FatherFather? And do you approve?— Yes, I do. Just ensure it doesn't become a problem later in the experiment. You must cope with your feelings and not externalize them to others, principally Nine and Anne. You have to be ice cold when the moment comes. — Right, sir. Also, I need to update you about Nine's outbreak. He got an access card to the laboratory and might be curious to explore it soon. — Oh, you mean his dare? Nina is part of the plan. I'm glad you interrupted before she said more than needed to build suspense for him. So the Director knows more than I thought. No surprise, though, coming from the mastermind. I try not to pry so much into the future. I live in the moment, and my moment is of happiness. But there will be times of sadness and grief to come. Before I left the office, the Director told me," Also, no more reading those philosophical stories to him, only those children's books to entertain him and keep him busy. He needs to discover the world on his own. Give him a dictionary if he becomes curious about words he doesn't know.".I said those magical words of the Director's approval to Anne. She felt so relieved, but she didn't know much. I will be heartbroken in one day, and I don't long for this day. But there's a long journey before that comes, and I hope it proceeds smoothly, but there will be rough patches to Nine. He will start to feel alienated soon enough. We are, of course, gatekeeping him from the world. And that's part of the experiment, which I don't feel exactly happy to be part of, but I believe he will surpass his troubles. Anne Kindermann wants to marry me. She took the first step. She didn't buy a ring but commented about marriage. I said that I would take her surname. To distract her because this isn't possible. We can't marry. We are coworkers in an experiment about human DNA, in which the subject is her biological son (well, actually, they share only 12,5% of the DNA). It's complicated enough; I guess she forgot about some parts of the contract, but for the time being, I will "buy" some time for her happiness and eagerness to feel loved. I wish I didn't have to treat her this way, me misleading her and being deceitful about our relationship. She can't know about the future, not yet. It will surprise her, and she will also be heartbroken...We have separate beds and can't sleep together in the facility. But when we go to the city together, we have tons of love in motels. Of course, wearing protection. Actually... Maybe getting her pregnant could be a way for me to guarantee my marriage to her after the venture is "over." After the storm calms down, but that's Machiavellian thinking. And I would have to be precisely on time, count her ovulation circles, and plan the trip to the city, but above all, the problem is that I don't know when she will go away. And we wouldn't be able to meet once she had done her time on the experiment. The Director would kill me if he discovered I got her pregnant.So one of my lab coats and hat is missing. I think that Nine is taking advantage of his resemblance to mine and finally taking time to kill his curiosity. But curiosity killed the cat. And now plants are curious too. I'm so curious about the other rooms that I'm not allowed to go. So I finally decided to have the adventure I was so eager to do! Stealing is wrong, but I don't think borrowing without asking is stealing. I took Paul's clothes that fit right in me because he's shorter than my mother and about the same height as me. I also took his hat to hide my leaves. It fits tight, though.I picked up the card in my secret hiding place: inside the "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" book. I hid it inside this book because I needed to ask a wizard for courage, just like the lion. I almost did hide it in "Alice in Wonderland," but I don't need cupcakes to grow up. Who is my wizard? Maybe Paul? I will ask for his advice, but first I must wear my regular clothes. And find him. So I had a long journey already trying to find him. He wasn't in his room, my mother's room, or the dining hall, so the only place left was outside. And it's big outside. I figured he could be at the lake, ice skating. He told me he would get a pair of ice skates for my anniversary and teach me how to ice skate. The presents are piling up! But the lake it's too far, so maybe I will check the vegetable garden first. Perhaps he is picking up pumpkins to carve them with silly faces. He does it every fall. I don't know why, but it's so funny.So I walked to the vegetable garden, and he wasn't there, and there was no pumpkin in the greenery. Apparently, he and my mother forgot to grow them this year? Or maybe it was too late? I don't know; I am not keeping track of time... So the only place left for me to find him is in the flower garden, in the greenhouse, as most flowers can't grow at this time of the year.I strolled my way there because I was exhausted, and finally, I found him. He was watering daisies, and I really wanted to know more about flowers since my mother was so passionate about them. He was speaking to something in his hand, and I seemed to interrupt him. He greeted me, and I started with small talk since he handed me flowers.— Hey... F-father. What do daisies mean?— Oh, you are here. Do you mean the symbolism behind the flower? — I guess so. — Well, they are considered pure flowers, and they symbolize innocence. In some cultures, it is believed that fairies sprinkle daisies over the earth to cheer the parents up whenever an infant dies.Innocence... that word again, what does it mean? Here we go; I need to ask; this word is fudging me:— Paul, I'm sorry, but what does "innocence" mean? — Hey kid, I have just what you need to answer your question. It's a dictionary; there you go. — What is it? How do I use it? — It's a book about words. You can search the word by its first letter and find its definitions and meaning. It's easy. — Okay, I will look it up later, but first, can you piggyback me to my room? I'm exhausted. — Sure, buddy. I'm bonding with my son, carrying him on my back because he is drained. I will also grow tired because the kid is way bigger than anyone his age. I will have to put some effort into that. He is heavy, and sometimes his legs slip from my hands, and he likes to swing back and forth, which makes my journey harder. He was quiet, which is strangely enough. Until he asked me a question, "What does it take to have the courage to do something you never did?" I responded, "You do it with friends. They lift up your spirit and make you braver. It's better than doing it alone.". I see where he's getting at. He wants to explore the laboratory. Maybe he can take Nina with him? She is in a facility further south. I can call her FatherFather for a visit. Nah, it's a bit too obvious... Maybe that wasn't a good piece of advice at all. I'm finally lying on my bed after a quest of searching for my Father all around the place! I'm glad I got a present before my birthday to finally satisfy my curiosity. So let's see in the dictionary... Innocence: "The quality of not having much life experience and not knowing about the bad things that happen in life." Well... Life hasn't been bad. That's kind of a thing to "absorb" (one of the first words I looked up in the dictionary). I'm young, sure; I don't have much experience in life as Mama and Dad. But what bad thing could happen? I mean, I'm not one to throw tantrums because my mother always cared for me and was supportive. Except for the one Nina made me do it. This makes me the question, will something terrible happen if I explore the laboratory? Will I lose my innocence? I said to Nina that I could get in more trouble, though. But if I "scheme" (funny, there are also similar words called synonyms below the word, in a section called "thesaurus," isn't that a dinosaur?) the perfect plan, nothing can go wrong. I need to look up the word vampire. I was afraid to do so before sleeping, so I wouldn't have nightmares or trouble sleeping. It's a bad word because my Mom forbids people from saying it near me. Why, though? I suppose they also drink blood. Well... here it goes, there is nothing to lose; vampire: "the reanimated body of a dead person believed to come from the grave at night and suck the blood of persons asleep," "one who lives by preying on others." That's not me! I never had the urge to suck the blood of another person! Was I dead...? They "reanimated" me? Am I part of something that I don't know? But on the bright side, there are vampires in this world; according to the dictionary: "The most famous vampire is Count Dracula of Transylvania.". So I may not be so much different as others... but I keep thinking if we are bad or evil or something. I wish I could meet him to make sure. Is Transylvania close to... I don't know... Pennsylvania? Also, he is a Count, which makes him noble. Is there evil royalty? Well, the Queen of Hearts in Alice is evil, which is a Monarch; she gives death sentences without a second thought. Anyways... I hope not every vampire is evil, especially me. I don't want to turn up doing bad things to other people.So... I've been inside all day searching for a word that could define my situation. I spent all day and couldn't find anything, but I've learned so much about words I couldn't understand, and I was talking to myself out loud to remember those words. My Mom said lights out and turned off the lights, but I kept researching with a lantern I borrowed from Paul and muttering words. Until I finally found the word "experiment," the definition is: "A test done in order to learn something or to discover if something works or is true.". Are they the scientists, those people who only wear white, as said by an example in the dictionary that experiments are conducted by them, trying to find out if I will turn out to be evil? I will make sure they are wrong!Searching the dictionary by the alphabetic order, it was easy to find the word "alienated" but hard to grasp. I took some moments to sense its meaning. It means being withdrawn or separated from society as a whole, in which case I am frigging am. I can't go outside the walls. There was no one to befriend me, and I only saw a person my age, Nina, twice. This can't keep going on. What does it matter if I'm different? I want to see the world and make friends! Heck, even lovers! I want to have something special, just like Mom and Dad have. But of course, not with Nina. She's too bossy and an evildoer. Something needs to be done. I need to take action. I can't keep being afraid. Being alienated. I need to know. Tonight, I will explore the laboratory and put on a brave face, like a warrior... Or a wizard in a quest for knowledge. Here's go nothing. I dressed up in Paul's clothes and hat. I picked up the access card inside the book. Got the lantern in the pocket just in case. Nobody will recognize me. I look exactly like my FatherFather... except that he has brown eyes. If only I had sunglasses. Okay, I just don't have to make eye contact. There we go. Just passed the card in front of the door. Nothin' to fear. Except that my hands were trembling. As I walked down this white corridor, with these bright reflecting lights on my dark skin, nobody I passed by seemed to have noticed me. They didn't even glance into my eyes. Because, of course, I avoided looking anyone in the face. I first walked through all the laboratory corridors and could perceive that it was shaped like the letter "E," capital. At the end of the hallway, there is a door marked "Authorized Personnel Only", APO for short, that I will enter after the other rooms if my card passes the sensor on the door. I entered a few rooms, nothing like the accommodation painted grass green and blue sky, filled with vases of plants and terrariums, but only plain white wall painting and no decorations. The first room I have already been in's the emergency room. When I get bruises from playing, Paul takes me there and bandages me. But I think there's equipment for things far more serious than bruises. There are three rooms full of strange glasses on desks and cabinets filled with "chemicals," like iron powder and "HCl," marked as dangerous, and blank whiteboards. Two rooms with tables and chairs, and both have whiteboards written in difficult words and symbols I don't know. The last but one room is an "auditorium" for a public speech, I guess, a new word I learned by looking up the dictionary. Nothing unusual, I think. But it's time to go to the "APO" room. Time to feel the thrill. Apo apo apo apo. Apo-po-po. Making this sound, I fill my cheeks with air, and it looks like I'm mimicking a squirrel. It's funny, but I'm scared. There has to be something there.