My Psycho

Chapter 18

Hey guys! First off let me start with thank you for not hating last chapter, you've got to understand that I will not make a book that's only sunshine and rainbows, it will get better, just please give me time. Thank you.
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                 Y/n's POV
Christmas is in 7 days and after the past two and half months I've been through, I'm kinda looking forward to it.
I pray everyday that I will find myself again no matter how long it takes.
Step.1- look into every room in this house,
I let Carter control me and I used to call it love, well he's not here anymore.
There was two rooms I was told to never go in or something bad would have to happen, eventually Carter came clean about one room, it was he torture chamber, he let me go in it and it was brutal, the tools he had out placed Nicely in a row looked like something out of a movie.

So now there's one room left that I've never been in, that ends now.

After it took me a while to look I finally found the key to it,
As I reach upstairs to the room my heart starts to pound violently,I feel like I need to puke.
My hands shake as I insert the key and turn the knob, the room is lit up with red lamps everywhere, no over head light,
Metal tables in every corner, pictures hang up going across the room, it looks like to dry from being printed.
I need to turn these damn lights on.
As each light flickers on, I look around in horror,
There's pictures of me in the shower, getting dressed, at the coffee shop close to my house, at the orphanage, everywhere I went there was I picture for it. Some of these pictures are from years ago, boxes filled of my sexual toys, panties, clothes, sunglasses, the rings I thought I lost three years ago.

My body starts to go in shock, I can't breath, I feel like I'm being stabbed, my legs are giving out.
I drop to the ground scratching at my throat for air, anything.
I feel foam start coming out of my mouth until I'm shaking uncontrollably, my eyes get blurry until it's black, I can't see anything, other then the pain I'm enduring,
MAKE IT STOP

Holy shit, what just happened?
I wake up feeling exhausted, feeling numb everywhere.
I need to eat something before I pass out,
I haven't had anything to eat in while, I live off of water and that's it.
Maybe if I was skinner he wouldn't of left me.

Screw that, the man I thought loved is sick in the head,
I need to call the police for him stalking me for years, can I even do that even though I lived and was with the exact man?

I have to get out of this house, but first we eat something and take our pills.
Holy fuck it's morning?
I passed out for that long,
Jesus fuck.
After I ate some breakfast I decided I'm gonna get a moving truck and move back into my apartment, god I feel happy for the first time in months, but I know this is just a spruce of energy and that it will eventually fade away and I'll be left alone mentally again.

They said they'll be here in three hours so I grab all my things and start packing them into boxes, luckily when Carter took me he left my apartment and didn't turn in the lease so I still at least have a piece of my old self somewhere,
and I intend to go there.

The moving truck arrives and I put everything in there with the movers help, as I'm about to follow behind them I stick a big sign in the front of the house.

I got in touch with the market place and got the house put in my name, when I had a burst of happiness a week ago, since Carter hadn't returned in two almost three months they agreed to it, so I'm selling it.

We drive off and it takes about 30 minutes to get to my old apartment, but we made it.

I was able to afford a nice apartment because of my business, my company that I haven't seen for four months, I had written a letter two years ago to my associate, saying if anything were to every happen to me where I couldn't take care of my business that they would use the bank account I made for my crisis company funds, after Carter left I called my associate and was happy to hear that my business was still up and running, that they remembered my letter and are currently using my emergency funds, I worked to hard on that company to lose it.
At least somethings still standing

I set everything out of my boxes, determined that if I get everything how it use it be I'll be happy.
I was wrong, three hours later and I feel nothing,
I need alcohol

I arrive to my local ABC store and place vodka, rum, tequila, bourbon, gin, any type of hard liquor was in my cart, I needed something to take the pain away, as I wash down my pills with alcohol in the ABC store parking lot.
We were doing so good

I was two days sober, I wasn't abusing any drugs in the house, I was doing good, I've hit rock bottom again.
How do I get off this rock?
Is the question I ask myself every time I take a swig of my vodka,
This will make it go away.

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I know you guys didn't like the cliffhanger I left y'all on so here you go, y/n needs a hug, she needs to be happy, and she will.
-Unedited
-thank you
-Carlisle Cullen simpp
-996 words