Our First First Christmas

6- Good Different

"I make a mean ramen nowadays."

I sit on the counter as I watch him cook, eyes zeroed in on his work. He looks up and we lock eyes, unmoving for a long moment. His eyes flicker in between mine and he smiles. It's such a genuine, precious smile that I'm taken aback. It's relaxed and it makes the corners of his eyes lift up just slightly, but they're wide as they drink me in.

"Guess what? It's midnight." He holds up a sprout of parsley above our heads like mistletoe. "Merry Christmas."

I laugh. "You're such an idiot." He grabs my chin and kisses me sweetly. He hums into the kiss, finishing off with an open-mouthed kiss before pulling away.

"God, you taste so good. Even better than I imagined." My cheeks burn.

"Just focus on the food."

"I am." He gazes deep into my eyes and the corners of his lips curl upward. It takes me a moment to realize what he's saying, but when I do, I'm covering my face with my hands.

"You still like your ramen a little undercooked, right?" I slowly put my hands down and nod. He adds eggs, green onions, soy sauce... I kick my feet as he cooks. He looks content doing so.

"You've been in the kitchen a lot lately. And you said Irene's not forcing you?"

"It's kind of..." He smiles shyly, "growing on me."

My head slowly connects the dots and I gasp, grabbing his cheeks and smooshing them together. "You like cooking?" He nods.

"I'm working at that Greek restaurant, remember? I like it there. I might even stay there long term as their cook."

"I'm so proud of you!" I slide off the counter and reach up to wrap my arms around him to hug him. I know one of his biggest fears was not finding a career path he truly enjoyed. We stay holding each other for a while, the ramen cooling on the unlit burner.

"This is so strange. Hugging you, I mean."

"We've hugged our entire lives."

"I know," I whisper, leaning into him more, "It's just different now."

"A good different, I'm hoping."

"Yeah," I give him a kiss on the cheek. "Good different."

❆ ❆ ❆

We end up in Nick's bed, eating and watching "A Year Without a Santa Claus". We watch it every year. By the time the movie is over my stomach is full, I'm warm, and I'm finally relaxing after a long day, so I'm finding it hard to even keep my eyes open. But Nick is wide awake, talking my ears off about who knows what. I put a finger to his lips, but this only drives him to notice that I'm wearing the ring, and more talking ensues.

"So," I steer, "you never actually told me how or when you realized you were in love with me."

"Hmm, let's see." He leans over me as if teasing to kiss me. "It was the day you got your college acceptance email. We immediately went out and bought all the dorm supplies you wanted. I tried to be excited for you, but something inside just kept me scared that you were leaving me, that I was going to be replaced. Thinking about you finding someone else and loving them more than me- I couldn't stand it. I imagined you finding another guy- kissing another guy. I realized I was jealous of another man kissing you. I want to be the only guy who ever gets the privilege."

"That's kind of hot."

He chuckles, dipping his head down to kiss the shell of my ear. His breath is hot, his voice deep and sultry as he mumbles, "So are you."

He moves lower, pressing soft kisses to my jawline. He sucks at the skin below my ear and I gasp. He pulls away, kissing the sensitive spot before looking me in the eyes for consent to continue. "Tell me if it's too much and I'll stop."

"No, this is perfect." I run my fingers through his hair and gently guide him back to my neck. He groans onto my skin.

"That's my girl."

He places his lips back on my neck, but I shrug him away and turn over in the bed. "But it's time for bed. I'm actually beat." We laugh as he flips me back over and blows a raspberry on my lower neck. He lays down beside me and snuggles me closer. I can tell this might be the best sleep I've ever had.

❆  ❆  ❆

Christmas day is quite uneventful, mainly relaxing and playing games and eating food and slipping away to make out in private. So, like every other Christmas. Except there's some kissing. The problem is that we're trying to be inconspicuous about it, but Nick apparently doesn't understand how to be subtle, making stupid excuses to our families about why he needs me in the other room.

And again, Nick pulls me down the hallway for the fifth or sixth time today. But I can't help but act like a lovesick teenager when he pulls me away and looks at me with that big smile of his.

"Hey," He tries to hide his grin but it tugs at the corners of his lips anyways.

"What's so urgent this time that you needed to pull me away from my puzzle?" I cross my arms, a small smile also making its way onto my face.

Even in the dimly lit hallway, his eyes are so bright and pretty. The icy blue color circling the darkness of his wide pupils only emits warmth as they flicker between my own eyes. It amazes me how warm he can make my insides feel just by me looking at him. I can't wait to get lost in them forever.

"I was going through withdrawals." And his smile is on mine. My arms drop to my sides before raising to his nape. His hands brush against my hips and squeeze, gently closing the distance between my hips and his.

It's like the first time all over again. It's weird kissing my best friend, someone I've spent all 21 years of my life with and suddenly everything changes between us. But I suppose we were constantly changing and growing. Neither of us can tell when it all started to really brew.

"When are we going to tell everyone?" I ask when we part. I'm nervous about their reactions but if we keep this up, they're all going to find out the hard way.

The hallway light switches on.

"Don't worry. I already know." I nearly have a heart attack as Nick jumps away from me, putting his hands behind his back. Ophelia stands with her arms crossed at the entrance of the hallway, trying to look stern but her devious grin shines through. "And I'm sure our mothers do too. Ya'll are being way to obvious with your little puppy dog eyes at each other. I know I was rooting for you guys, but now that it's happened, maybe take it down a few notches before I puke."

Ophelia sends us out into the living room to hang out where our mothers can't see us from the kitchen. We simply sit and soak in the warmth of the fireplace and each other. I think about how much has changed in the past three days, and how I'm surprisingly very okay with it. Nick really is my rock. Even when everything is different, one thing remains the same- him. Maybe change isn't so bad after all, but don't get me wrong, I'd be happy if we stayed like this forever.

"Are you ready for your Christmas gift from me?"

"I already got everything I wanted," he points to me but then proceeds to hold out his hands anyway, "But if you insist." He grins, and I can't help but feel the fluttering of butterflies escaping my tummy and flying out through my lips.

"I'm in love with you, too, Nicholas Harris."

❆ THE END ❆