The Song

Smoky room, with a touch of wine, Alisa smiled a not so genuine smile, politely averting people from hitting on her, letting the nicotine flow through her mind.

That's how she'd gone through the past few years, relying on the numbness of getting wasted, to forget about her own insecurities, to forget her pain, and to forget about the love of her life— Ethan.

"Alisa! You're on!" With a high pitched call from DJ, she finished her train of thought and the bourbon she had in her hand with a gulp. She gave those men a wink and a nod, hook up the denim jacket she left on the stool next to her, and trot towards the stage.

When everything was in place, she grabbed the guitar next to her, took a sip from a bottle, "Back To December," she raised the bottle, "to the regretful and pettiful times. Then, she began to sing, her voice was deep, but sounded light, like a second was there, then the next she's in her own world, brought back in time into her memories, by the song, by the melodies.

When the background music started to play, She said quietly, "This song's for you". Letting the visions of the past flow past her mind, making the promise to herself of having this last song as her official goodbye.

——————

She thought back to the start, bringing a smile to her face.

*

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while.

*

It was all before their friendship started to change.

They were childhood friends, living just next door. She was close with his family, basically going over nearly every weekend. It stayed that way even when they started dating for a full nine years after middle school. Everyone thought they would grow up together, eventually getting married after they both graduated from college. Obviously though, it didn't last.

*

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

You're guard is up and I know why

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

*

It was not until a few years after their college graduation did their relationship start to fall apart. They fought over literally everything, from the tiniest things of

what to eat, to the largest things of planning their future. It was falling apart piece by piece, and both of them knew it deep inside. Not wanting to believe it, they still acted like they knew nothing, until the day the facade couldn't be kept up anymore. She screamed, she cried, blaming him for everything and left. Shutting every word he uttered out of her mind, he tried to calm her down but to no avail, till the little glint of hope in his eyes turned into dread.

Her brows knitted, thinking back to the micro changes in his features. She had known that she had done something very bad back then, but she couldn't possibly pull down her face to apologize, so she left on that note, making the regret linger on between them forever after that.

*

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you saying "I'm sorry for that night"