Daggers in the heart'

Chapter 5

"Your Nan"

My mind fuzzed over with thoughts, my nan? She ran away ages ago when we found out Mum wouldn't be getting better from the Cancer. I haven't heard from her since and that was years ago, but it seems like Dad has been in touch with her. How dare she try and see us again! She left when it was most important to stay. I felt fumed with anger. 

"What? Why! She has done NOTHING for this family! SHE LEFT" I screamed, squeezing my fists together beside myself. He didn't reply. He started down at his now empty plate, it seemed if he stared at it any harder there would burn a hole in it.

"ANSWER ME" I stepped forward and thumped my fist onto the desk. The calm and quiet girl who he had seen just a few minutes ago had left and in it's place a stormy, threatening one had been left.

"I don't need to tell you why Mae, just go and do what you're most best at, clean" He carried on staring down at his plate

"What did I ever do to you, I've tried my hardest since Mum died!"

"STOP MAKING EXCUSES, STOP BRINGING HER UP. YOU HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE, ALWAYS IN THE WAY" He suddenly shot up pushing his chair out and roaring in my face, he smashed the plate on the floor. I put my hands out to defend myself.

"CLEAN THAT UP" He stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

My hands were still splayed in-front of me, shaking with terror, I slowly brought them back to my sides and sighed. I slid down the kitchen cupboard and crouched on the floor then started picking up the broken pieces of china.

"owch" I put my finger quickly into my mouth, licking away the blood. I got up and went over to the sink and watched my finger as I washed it under the water, I felt like some pressure had been lifted off me, as if I had cut my skin and let some of the pain seep away. A thought sprang to my mind and in the heat of the moment I strode over and opened a draw grabbing out a small, blunt knife. Bring it down to the side of my hand I wiped the blade along, creating a dent but not breaking the skin. My mind told me to carry on. I got carried away and kept on slashing away untill I had made a gash, the blood seeped out and I smirked.

After watching my hand in a daze, I ripped some kitchen towel off the roll and wrapped it gently over my hand, I got an hairband and put it over the kitchen towel to hold it in place.

I know what I did was bad, but it seemed to help. If this is the only way to take away my pain then so be it. 

I cleared away the rest of the broken plate then went onto the rest of the house, I carefully used my hand so not to damage it further, it stung like crazy.