NYCTOPHILIA

chapter nine • washing machine heart

Wrapped up in a heap of limbs, loose emotions and thick mass of duvet covers, Scarlet lay numbly in the comfort of her own bed.

Since she had woken from the shallow sleep that had consisted of a series of restless tosses and turns, her eyes had been wide open and decorated in a crimson tint. Just staring into the dark abyss whilst trapped in a never ending day dream, millions of thoughts terrorising her sanity.

Although she was far from heartbroken as the feelings she felt towards the male were ones she would never admit, there was an unfamiliar pain that coiled around her heart which sprouted from a sense of betrayal she had never been accustomed to before.

It was ironic really, Scarlet could a hundred percent confirm it wasn't love as it was too early for that sacred emotion as she had only known the male for a short period of time, yet there were undeniable feelings that she continued to deny over and over again in that moment due to sheer embarrassment of capturing feelings for someone whom had been using her like a puppet on a string.

Something she continuously prided herself on being was a hard headed individual, always able to detect the wrong people who weren't good for her soul like a drug dog in a meth lab- but then there was Rafe. Everything that had come after him seemed to be one colossal blur.

Introducing her into the glorious substance known as cocaine was something that the male shouldn't have indulged in, since the moment her eyes had fluttered open and absorbed the light, a bump was ready at her right nostril to aid her through the already patronising day. It seemed she could no longer dispute with the dirty blonde over his evident drug abuse as she could proudly acknowledge that it came in useful for times like so.

Often Scarlet would remorsefully allow her mind to drift into the heavens, wondering what her mother would think of her now she was growing into a woman and making her own decisions for herself. Slap her back into sobriety probably, with a scowl and a broken heart because her little girl had washed away down the drains she once showered above.

But her heart was so pure it would be fulfilled in forgiveness, soothing fingers running through Scarlets untamed locks to comfort her only daughter when going through such a mind boggling time.

Caught in the midst of silent yet such violent thoughts, the vibration from her phone that rested on the bed side table grasped Scarlet's attention- hand reaching wearily out to retrieve it from its current location and see what had pulled her from the hour upon hour filled trance she had been in.

Squinting to rid any sensitivity her eyes were burning with from the burst of light off the screen, her heart dropped with disbelief. A gut wrenching feeling occurred as Scarlet's whole being was summoned in a abrupt sickness, reading each letter over and over again to ensure her eyes weren't deceiving her.

I know I'm the last person you probably want to speak to but I need you to know that I'm really fucking sorry Scar, last night I was out of order and I want you to forgive me.

The nausea she felt was quickly replaced with a burning enmity, each breath she took sped up to triple in pace whilst her thumbs were itching to reply with something that would be equally as cruel as his previous acts. He had unrightfully revealed his true colours and demonstrated exactly why the female shouldn't proceed in their involvement, the virulent words which he called her bouncing relentlessly in the back of Scarlet's mind.

Why would I forgive you Rafe. You're exactly who I thought you would be, leave me alone.

It wasn't as scornful as she would have liked it to be but it easily conveyed what she wanted to say to the male, Scarlet not getting the chance to lock her phone before a reply appeared below her message.