NYCTOPHILIA

chapter eleven • the heart wants what it wants

Four days. Four exhausting days they had gone without talking, not a single message, phone call or unarranged visit had been traded between the two.

As of recent, it was the longest they had gone without communication, the sinister thoughts on wether they were really done had began to settle in for them both and with that came a strange sense of panic. In the current moment they absolutely loathed each other yet longed for the others presence, despising that they both hadn't made an effort and came ignorant to the fact it was potentially for the best.

It wasn't healthy but nothing would stop them both from wanting it, craving it. And the stretch of silence was thinning to the minute, unsure on whom would be the first to crack and give in.

Scarlet was stubborn, especially now her heart had been rinsed like a sponge twice with absolutely no reasoning behind it. A feeling inside told the female he'd soon become her biggest regret, one she would of wished she'd never have come across despite the strengthened feelings she held for him.

When he made her feel good it was euphoric, more alive than anything she had ever known before. Like she had been reborn and come back alive in a world of fantasy- but when he made her feel like how she did right now, the female compared the sensation to being dragged across splintering, hard cobblestones.

Scarlet had figured not long ago that the brighter she may shine in a circumstance, the quicker she will burn- lit with flames that haunted her blistering skin.

Like they say, misery is loves company and the two walk comfortably hand in hand. And she knew it was way too early to even consider the four letter verb, the solemn thought of it nearing an instant sickness although it was known that they had become disgustingly close in such a short amount of time. It was a situation that both Scarlet and Rafe were not prepared for but somehow had became something that they couldn't imagine what life was even like before it had sprouted.

Part of her wanted the dirty blonde give in and beg for her forgiveness like he had done before, yet his abundance of absence was communicating a different tone of choice.

They were both hardheaded and relished in any ounce of power that they could grasp, fighting each other silently for the advantage of being the stronger individual. That was their problem, both extremely fond of owning the authority in their involvement and it only doomed them to never withhold a healthy relationship.

The past couple days have been manageable to say the least, keeping distracted isn't as hard when you have a job like Scarlet, always on her feet and seeing new faces to replace the one engraved into her mind. But it was the nights that were the most infuriating, every time she closed her eyes he was there- his beautiful eyes and charming smile that was enough to encourage the brunette to crumble.

They were one thing that would forever be cemented into the lids of her oculars, Scarlet would never be able to disregard those damn eyes.

Especially in the shower, sometimes she just sat there against the wall and allowed the water to wash her away, irrepressible tears dampening her pre-glistening cheeks as she scrubbed every inch of her skin repeatedly to rid any segment of Rafe that was left. Sobbing into her naked skin whilst asking where her former self had ran off too, before she was such an unstoppable character that wouldn't allow anyone to destroy her brightness, and then came Rafe.

The only person she knows who could be capable of such things, holding it carefully in his palm and had the authority to dispose of it any day.

And right now, Scarlet still stood in the entanglement of those same thoughts whilst vigorously cleaning the same spot of the surface she had been for the last five minutes. Distractions came easy but how long they would last is absolutely unknown.