Sunshine

Chapter Forty-Four

I was an absolute mess.

Dumpster fire.

I remembered everything that happened last night, that guy trying to beat me up, hanging with everyone, Hyeji cheating on Taehyung, and....

Joowon.

I stared at him as he placed a cold water bottle in front of me.
"Oh, you didn't have t..."
"Poor baby, I'm sure you have a headache." Joowon pouts, his hand fixing my hair that wasn't done this morning. I missed him, I woke up with my bed empty but he arrived early at my house to pick me up in his car. His... car...

The one where we....

"Um.. Joo? About last night... I um.." I stammer, and he held up a hand,
"It's okay if you don't want to like.." He crosses his fingers together, showing me.
"N-No, I loved it, but I—.."
"Oh you did?" He smiles.
"Yes, but—.."
"I'm so relieved, god. I was worried I made everything awkward." He huffs.
"Joo!" I rasp, coughing lightly afterwards. "There's... another guy..."

"Another guy?" He tilts his head in confusion, and I palm my lips. How could I say this in a polite way... I can't harm him, he's such a sweetheart. I watched him stand up and sit next to me.
"This is about... Taehyung, isn't it?" He asks me.

I stare at his wide eyes and gulp. How did he know? I didn't even say his name or anything, how did he know? It's almost like he knew everything about me, especially the things he said last night..

I nod slowly.

And he smiled.

"Oh, Jimin." He scoffs with a larger grin, his hand caressing the side of my cheek. "I've been knowing you liked him."

"You- you did??" I broaden my eyes.
"Of course I have. He told me." He yips and my jaw drops open.

Oh my god.

So.. maybe that's why Taehyung punched him?

Or- no! They know each other!

I gently grab his face and I ran out of breath,
"Well- what did he say? What did he tell you, Joo?" I shake him, and his smile slightly fades. He feigns with.. uncertainty and leaned in, gently kissing my nose.
"Well.." He began, holding the bottom of my waist. "He told me you guys were doing certain things.. and.. he wasn't sure how to feel about it... He also said he felt like trash for cheating on his girlfriend and he wasn't sure how to walk away..." He cleared his throat, "...from that."

My heart dropped.

So.. Taehyung wasn't sure what I was.

Taehyung regret all of it.

He didn't even know what to feel...

I don't understand..

..

I don't fucking understand!!

Tears prickled in my eyes as I released Joowon's face. I don't understand what I did to deserve this. I don't understand why Taehyung was doing this. I don't understand where the old Taehyung went. I don't understand why everything went so wrong, down the gutter all because of popularity. I don't understand why he left me. I don't understand why he regret it when he smiled to me in adoration, and told me it was intentional...

He used me.

A shaky sob leaves my mouth as I lowered my head. I didn't want to cry in the fucking halls. Joowon quickly embraces me, and muttered quick "I'm sorry"s.
"Did I say something— did—.." He stammers.

I shake my head as I weeped my heart out into Joowon's chest, my tears seeping into his sweater vest. Him holding me tight didn't do any justice, his strong arms made me feel secure but... how could I be happy this whole entire day after what I just heard..?

Where did it all go wrong?

I told him Hyeji would ruin him, I told him..

So, this isn't my fault..

"Is it my fault..?" I cry out under my breath and I sniffle, Joowon hums a sound of uncertainty, and I repeat, "Is it my fault?"

"Nothing is, baby." Joowon assured me with wide eyes as he lifted my face, "No..! No, you're— What could possibly be your fault?"

"Did I baby him too much?" I choke out, "Or.. or was I a bad friend..?"

"No." Joowon shakes his head, "It's this school's fault."

"But.. but why senior year..? Why did it all go wrong..?" I quavered, the pad of Joo's thumb swiping the tears off my cheek.
"I guess this year is a mess." Joowon admits, "It's a year when people grow physically, but not mentally. We're almost outta here, y'know? So.." He clears his throat, staring at me.

I gaze at his eyes that dart to some students that walked up to us. I recognized them, the students I hung out at the chicken wing restaurant. AJ, Eunwoo, Dongmin and the neon green hair guy.
"Hi!" I sputter out, and they eye me in confusion.

"Are you good?" Dongmin arches a brow.
"Yeah.. your eyes are all puffy." The guy with neon green hair asks.

"He's fine, just a bad hangover." Joowon explains before I opened my mouth. I grin to him and he reels me under his arm, securing me into place.
"Well, fellas. Advisory isn't gonna last forever, where are all your classes at right now?" AJ beams with a smile and I clear my throat.

"Uh.. I need the bathroom.." I mutter, and Joowon frees me from his embrace.
"Text me for whatever." He whispers to me.

"Actually," I clear my throat, "Can you come with me?" I gaze up at him, and he glanced back at his friends that were conversing about their next classes.

He nods to me, and I sauntered towards the direction of the nearest bathroom, hearing Joowon's footsteps following me. As I swung open the bathroom, it shut behind him- I stare at myself through a mirror and sighed.
"What's wrong?" He asks me.
"Yeah, my eyes are puffy." I giggle, and I looked around, there were surprisingly no students in the stalls. They'd usually be smoking or skipping the next class after advisory.
"Mm, shut your mouth. You're beautiful." He rubs my back, "Just wash your face and it'll go away?"

I shrug, turning the sink's knob for cold water, scooping it up into my hands and splashing it over my eyes that closed tight. Goosebumps burst over my body as I felt Joowon peck kisses on the back of my neck.
"Did you check your thighs?" He asks me, and I stood up correctly to dry my face. After throwing the napkin away, I stare at him with wide eyes.
"My thighs? Uh... why.."

"Just asking." He smirks, and my face went numb. I hated that smirk of his, it got my knees all weak.
"Shut up.. I'm gonna check." I frown before dashing into a stall.
_