Sad Beautiful Tragic

chapter I

tw// blood, miscarriage

„I don't want to live anymore..." – she whispered in the dead of the night, the sweat forming on her pale skin, the tears glistening in her eyes as she was wide awake for past 15 minutes, when she woke up from the nightmare

„Taylor, love... Don't say that, please. I know it's hard right now, I really understand it. It's hard for me too, but we will get through this together. Baby, look at me." – he said, and Taylor slowly lifted her head up just enough to see his eyes full of worry but also love, love for her...

„I promise you, it's all gonna be okay. It might seem like it's not right now, but it will. You're strong my love and I know we will get through this. I love you" – he said right before kissing her forehead that was slightly covered in sweat

„But what is the point now, she's gone Joe. There isn't any purpose for me to live now" – she said

„Of course there is baby. We have each other. Life is beautiful... Sometimes bad things have to happen so we would appreciate the good ones more... Sometimes they give us a very important lesson. We can't do anything to bring her back to life unfortunately... If I could I would do it in a blink of an eye but it's impossible. But she'll always be in our hearts, we will always remember her. Maybe now wasn't the time, we'll try again. I love you so much Tay"

„I love you too" – she whispered back

„Now let's go back to sleep my love, you're clearly exhausted. Goodnight" – he kissed her head again and laid back down while cuddling her close to his chest to keep her cozy and warm, and also safe...he was really worried about her since that happened and he doesn't want to risk losing her, he has to be super careful...

Just a few hours later, when the sun just began coming up, Taylor slipped from Joe's arms wrapped around her body and went to the kitchen. She sat down on a stool at the table with her head in her hands. Nowadays walking around the house in her pyjamas, her hair totally messy, her eyes red and pufy from crying was something normal. She let out a sigh as she felt tears forming in her eyes...

If someone told her two weeks ago that she's gonna be a crying mess every single day now, she would think they're crazy but here she was...and how much wished she wasn't...

She was blaming herself for what have happened, she was sure it was all her fault. That it was something she did that caused it, she was the one to blame.

She didn't even realized that by now she was standing next to a drawer with knives, her hand tightly wrapped around the handle. Her mind was spiralling and she didn't know what to do. At once second it was telling her to hurt herself, that it was what she deserved. The other second it was telling her to sit down and calm down. She truly didn't know what to do.

Just as she was about to open the drawer, sleepy Joe came into the kitchen. As soon as he saw Taylor standing next to the drawer with knives, he was at her side in a second pulling her into him and as far away from the drawer as possible.

He held her close to his body, his hand running up and down her back knowing it always worked to get her to calm down.

„Taylor, it's all okay" – he whispered in her ear, his hand never leaving her back

She didn't respond. The only sound that was heard was her muffled cries, her body was shaking violently. By now Joe's shirt was soaking wet but he couldn't care less. All he wanted now was for Taylor to calm down and be okay. He knew the weeks after that happened were going to be difficult. However, he didn't know it was gonna go to the extent where Taylor would want to harm herself or even end her life...