C'mere (Paul Banks fanfic)

Correspondence

The holidays came and Rhi enjoyed her family's company and the English traditions. She felt like a child again. She missed her dad so much. He used to always have the best advice, something she could use these days. She knew she could have told him anything and he would hardly judge.

But her mum knew a thing or two, as well. So she found out when she called her to one of the elegant salons on their London Manor on New Years Eve. Polly (that was her mum's name) had a glass of cognac in her hand and a wonderful silver dress on.

- Come sit with me, my first born, and tell me what afflicts you before the year is over. - She told Rhi softly.

Rhi went to sit at her feet and put her head on her lap, just as she used to do when she was little.

- What makes you think I'm afflicted at all? - Rhi asked, without looking up at her mum.

- A mother knows. I'd say you look like someone suffering from some type of heartache, but the last I knew was you were marrying the man you love... - She had a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

- Well, that's exactly the case, mum.

- Is it?

Rhi blushed. Her mother could see right through her. She stared at the flames in the fireplace for a while, before finally deciding on confessing herself.

- I met someone else and I don't know anymore...

- I thought as much. - Polly meditated.

- Please don't tell me it's obvious... - Rhi begged, mortified.

- To people who are not your mother, I don't think it is. But to me, baby, you are transparent... - Rhi bit her lips as her mum continued. - Is he worth reassessing your whole life? Would he offer something better if you decided... to go with him?

Rhi sighed.

- That's impossible to know a priori, mother. My life is sorted if I marry Lee...

- I don't think you understood what I mean, love. You're talking about a lifestlye, I mean relationship-wise. Would this man give you a better type of love than your fiancé?

- I've tried assessing it, but I can't think clearly.

- Think? You are trying to rationalise your feelings, Ali. Such a thing can't be done. Your father used to do the same, always with equally frustrating, even sometimes disastrous results... - She let out a little laugh. She was probably remembering some long forgotten story between the two of them.

- The rational way is the only way I know. But as you so wisely point out, it hasn't worked so far.

- And it won't. You need to make a decision, fast. Your wedding is approaching and you need to do what's right. It's not too late yet.

- You're the third person to tell me those exact words. - Rhi was marvelled. - But how do I know what the right thing is?

Her mother sighed, caressing her hair.

- Matters of the heart are necessarily dictated by the heart. It's that annoyingly simple.

Polly let her words float in the air for some seconds before standing up.

- Now come on, we have a party to host. I need you to be happy. Being sad on the holidays is ever so vulgar...

Rhi laughed and followed her out. The answer was so simple. Yet she didn't seem to get a grasp on it.

-

Rhi waited for another week to decide to answer Paul's letter. It was January now. He probably never expected to get an answer from her, but she could not let it go. She still kept the folder with his good bye letter and read it over and over.

It was hopeless and desperate. Yet it was refreshingly unattached. There was no indication that he felt he had any right or power over her. And that made him irresistible.

Paul:

Your letter left me in a state... I can't quite put into words. Words are your forte, you see. But I can only attempt to express how moved I was by all you wrote.

I don't think I am anywhere near as good as you seem to think I am, but you made me want to be that great person. I now need to be that wonderful woman you described. People who inspire a change for good without imposing, probably not even meaning to, are a rare occurrence in life. And you occurred to me. You say you don't deserve me, but I beg to differ. I think exactly the opposite.

I very much wish we could be friends. You don't need to be jealous of anyone in my life. No one else provokes in me what you do. I long for your company so much, it's mental. I enjoyed our talks like you don't even imagine, and our silences too. I think the reasons why we can't hang out are obvious for both of us. And it hurts so bad. But I guess we have to be brave. I often wonder if this is the right thing to do. Most of the time, it seems so.

Write a song about this sad story. But don't let it defeat you.

I hope not to disturb you with this. I needed to tell you these things. It would be horrible manners to receive such a lovely letter and not answer.

Much love,

RY

She didn't know exactly why she sent the letter by traditional mail. Pen on paper, in a mail box, but she felt a bit of comfort when she did.

-

Much love.

- Much... love... - He repeated after reading the letter for the fifth time.

He went to sit down, put his hand over his mouth and folded the fancy designer sheet. Rhi was fancy, alright. And ruthless.

- How... savage... - He whispered. - "Long for your company... enjoyed our silences... I hope not to disturb you..." Is she trying to kill me?