the sweetly scented killer

guilt, sadness, anger, and hate

seth

I wake up the next day and remember that it is the day of my creation, and also my mating day.

I lay in bed contemplating taking myself out of existence for a while.

When I decide against it, I get ready for the day. As I walk down the hall past the dungeons, it's like I'm getting the wind knocked out of me. A feeling I've never experienced before twists my stomach, and the rash on my fingers starts to get worse. The melody stuck in my head gets louder, and I collapse to the floor as all of these at once are greatly overwhelming.

Gresill appears in front of me, as he does when I'm in distress. "Are you in need of assistance, my lord?"

"What's happening? What am I feeling?" He steps a little closer and tilts his head at me.

"You are feeling guilt. And sadness"

"Guilt and sadness? I've never felt either."

"I am aware, my lord."

"Why am I feeling these things?" I hiss through the pain.

"I am not at liberty to say."

"Tell me, Gresill."

"I am not at liberty to say."

"Tell me!" I demand.

"Your mate is nearby."

"My mate?" I look at him, rising to my feet. "Where?"

"I am not at liberty to say." I sigh and roll my eyes. I'll know soon enough.

"Get out of my sight." And that's exactly what he does.

I only have a few hours before I have to go up to heaven to meet my mate. All demons and angels go to heaven to meet their mates since that vexatious idiot God decides all mates. I don't know who left him in charge or who lets him keep controlling this shit, but obviously a change needs to be made since he keeps fucking everything up.

I didn't have a very productive few hours, since I couldn't feel anything but guilt and sadness. Now I understand why the humans whine so much about being sad.

I gel my hair after getting dressed in a black suit without a tie. Mother wanted me to cover my tattoos to go to heaven, so I did as she told me, for the most part.

There's no way to cover the ones on my hands, which they would definitely not approve of of there since the letters on my fingers spell out "FUCK LIFE" and other tattoos include upside down crosses, and skulls and such. Oh well.

Then of course there's the one on my neck that reads "the only hell is existence" in small print.

Mother wasn't too happy with these, but she accepted them anyway.

I believe that mating ceremonies are supposed to mimic a wedding. The woman walks into the room in her white dress, while the man waits at the end of the hall. They join hands, then mating bands are slipped onto the love fingers. Except the only difference between mating bands and wedding bands is you can never remove your mating band. When you let go of it on your finger, it burns into your skin and looks similar to a tattoo, except it's red and a lot more painful.

The two families have dinner together, then the new mates must consummate their relationship and try for their first child.

At least I'm getting one good thing out of this: sex.

I stand at the altar, my family behind me on my side. I don't realize mother's presence until she's touching my hair. She stands on her toes to adjust the hair on top of my head. I frown. "Are you nervous?" she whispers to blend in with the pin drop silence. A giddy smile rests on her face.