"In My feelings"!

Revolving door into Humanity"..short story!

Staring out the window..
Collectively, gathering my thoughts and puffing on my cigarette slow.
The emptiness in the world made it lonely  to look at.
All the joy in entertainment turned into blood sports, horror stories, and victimizing testimonies of children who had to keep their mouths closed and endure what a monster was like in real life.

                                  (In my thoughts)..
Me: man screw this!
  Standing there with one hand in my back pocket and a cigarette in the other, I took a deep long drag and inhaled..
The music, stole my attention and put me right in my steady vibe! as it continued to blare thru the speaker in the distance, I snickered and bobbed my head to the beats of the smooth "sounds of Brown"@Justin Brown.
                   
(Strong pause)...
with my finger to my chin..
I started to say something but On second thought..."Nevermind"!
Anyway, Feeling relaxed I sat their in my thoughts for just a little whole longer, i looked around and began to appreciate.
Finally,  i Understood and I was over thankful for everything that i had and anything that I didn't.
I was Thanking God for my new found wellness.

Some Minutes later, a very un-welcoming knock at the door startled my thoughts, i quickly jumped to my feet and smashed my cigarette in the plastic cup that sat on the side of my bed considering i shouldn't have been smoking in a non smoking hotel room.
I yelled out, in a distracted tone! who? While, I stood there just staring right at her through the peep hole in the door..
She yelled back..its housekeeping Mam! "Will you be receiving service this morning"?
I replied; "No thank you!" and walked away from the door shaking my head.
Walking off from the door i stopped at the t.v stand and grabbed the packet of incenses that laid there on the table and lit one of them.

I sat at the small circle table with the very enticing views that was so conveniently, placed in front of the window and stared at the skylines mesmerized.
I put the glass up to my mouth and sipped on my red wine slow..
There i sat quietly, pacing through my thoughts again.
I was always careful not to over process my emotions.
I grabbed my pack of Newport's, I took one from the pack and snapped the lighter to it, a strong drag and exhale.
My racing thoughts about life, made it difficult not to think ahead  so i went in over drive.
Here's some of the things that were positioned in my mind..
* the news
* Kobe Bryant
* the welfare system
* the protests
* spiritual war fares
* my prayers/salats
* jail/Drugs
* My family/ friends
* my enemies
* world peace/ world Hunger
* livelihood
* God/ Faith
* politics/ Money
* living/ dying
* pains/ gains
My train of thought was collectively sprawling out of control..
I started to feel all that pain at once, because all the those things are a conditioned part of systematic destruction designed to help us self- destroy..

The true logistics behind this is that these are all problems placed amongst african americans, mexicans americans, and any other natively colored cultural backgrounds as well as their communities daily.
The real issues in societal misunderstandings, are taught to be the fear tactics, that I describe as targeted environmental racism.
*Referring from websites like google, YouTube and  Wikipedia and others reports on, civilization and  its jurisdictional statues of limitations that includes the constitutional laws of the land" Jim Crow laws" 1- 2.0.

I felt imprisoned in my own head and like, a slave to my peace.
As my anxiety increases, I huffed and puffed to relieve the pressures in my headache.
The universe is in the middle of a storm of emotional turmoil that no one was prepared for, the power its outcomes is reigning its fury and all the while, the people are still out on a hung jury.
Its been said that;
"Pressure" can either, make diamonds or bust pipes" but in this case, it has long ago stopped creating diamonds..
Instead, it has been compromised with hatred and narcissistic mandatory mandates, that relieves us of our lawful constitutional amendments.