The Futile Effort

Part 7

EVA POV

As soon as I entered my office after returning from Mexico, I saw a pile of new documents. I sat down at my desk with a sigh. Ben didn't speak, and Jess's words churned in my head. On top of that, my pregnancy started to bother me when a new treatment for my STD was implemented. Suddenly, I noticed an envelope on my desk, the last one from the folder delivered by Jess's detective. I breathed deeply and opened it. Photos of Ben spilled out onto the desk.... I looked through them one by one. Ben in meetings, with clients, at dinner, at the flat, at the hotel.... with other women. I screamed and knocked everything off my desk. I was angry, disappointed... and... nothing more.

"Wow, easy there! Don't hurt the baby. Incidentally, you could have warned me I was going to be an auntie." Julia entered the study without knocking. I threw her a furtive glance.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's a family business, isn't it?" Julia joked, but immediately turned serious, walked over and glanced at the photographs scattered on the ground. A shadow of understanding flashed across her face. She looked at me with sympathy, but only for a moment. Then she shook her head.

"And you defended him so badly. On top of that, you let yourself get pregnant."

"How was your honeymoon? You came back quickly. Too fast." I replied aggressively.

"I'm doing great. Although Oli came back drunk yesterday. He wasn't alone. Can you tell me why your wife drags my husband to a bar and then won't come back to you?"

"Ask her yourself." I retorted.

Julia sighed. She mastered herself and began softly.

"Eva... Jess asked me who Patrick was. Didn't you tell her? Are you having those nightmares again?"

"None of your business!" I yelled this time, pulling away from her.

"Mom's worried about you. So am I. I was wondering if it would be better if you..." She hesitated.

"If what?" I asked in a dangerously low tone.

"If you went back to therapy."

I was stunned. Within days, two different people told me the same thing.

"Consider this, please. And... you and Jess and Tom are welcome to spend Christmas with us. Mum will be pleased."

"She said she didn't want to see me." I burbled.

"As far as I know, a lot of people can't look at you right now, Eva." Julia was brutally honest. "The question is whether you can tolerate yourself. And whether you want to live this way. Do something before you lose your family and Jess. I know her breaking-point is near. Don't let her hate you."

"I think it's too late for that." I said, suppressing the sob that had suddenly gathered inside me.

"You're stupid. So very stupid. That girl has had a crush on you since high school. If you do something with yourself, something good I mean, she will definitely give you a chance. But Eva... don't screw this up, okay? Mom adores her. Probably more than us two." Julia joked and left.

After Julia left sob escaped my mouth. I didn't know what's happening with me. I wasn't myself anymore. I looked at the pictures of Ben and decided.

I dialled the number.

"Hello, is Dr. Taylor in the office today?"

"Yes, would you like an appointment?"

"Please."

After the call was over, I thought for a long time about my convoluted life. I felt mentally and physically unwell. I looked at my watch and left the office. I gave the driver the address. A moment later, with a loud sigh, I knocked on my therapist's door.