Red Volkswagen || h.s.

Sweeter Than Fiction

THIS SONG IS SO PERFECT FOR THIS CHAPTER IM SQUEALING HELP HELP HELPEJDNKEJD

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all at once, the rest is history

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BROOKLYN'S POV

I gave in.

To the nagging, that is. The nagging of the little devil on my shoulder yelling at me to remember. To recap, relive, and revive the memories that have since been tucked away in a vault in the back of my head.

You'd think that after getting home from the most whiplash-filled night of my life, I'd be snoring before my head hit the pillow. That, of course, was not the case for me, even though it was for the girls. I'm happy they're asleep because they need it, and I'm not surprised that I can't sleep.

My phone is at the lowest brightness possible, but it's still too bright. I'm squinting and it makes me feel like my eyes are tired, but they're really not. My fingers have minds of their own, as they've taken me on an all inclusive trip down memory lane.

A middle of the night camera roll scroll is not how I expected to spend my three am hour, but it's how it is. I've made it through 2013, and I'm currently in 2014. The months on tour– before everything fell apart. It puts a weird feeling in my chest and I couldn't describe it if I tried– all I can say is that it's not necessarily sad, just...bittersweet? I don't know.

It might also help to say that I deep dived– deep dove?– on Twitter for a while about all things Harry, filling myself in on...well, everything. Everything I've missed, and every single thing knocked the wind out of me, similarly to earlier.

I could've predicted it. The success. I mean, it was inevitable. Have you seen the man on stage? I knew it all along.

I smiled so much, I won't lie. I'm still smiling. It felt weird, but I felt happy. I watched a video of him talking about his album in an interview and I didn't feel an ounce of a negative emotion– all I wanted to do was to ask him more questions about it and tell him how proud I am.

It definitely wasn't always like that– in the past, on the off chance I heard his name or saw a picture or video, it brought up negative emotions. Sadness, some anger here and there, confusion, what-ifs. It happened for a while.

But, I grew. I guess you could say I got over it. Him. I moved past those plot twist filled chapters and focused on me, my life, and what I wanted. It paid off, of course. I'm extremely happy where I am, and with who I am at the moment. All of those metaphorical thunderstorms that clouded my life and that I thought would never clear up are gone now.

The sunlight is perfectly golden.

However, just because I got over that part, doesn't mean I'm not open to...more. A sequel, if you will. Part two. Well, for us, it would probably be like part four. No amount of denial or intentional ignorance could shadow the sheer self awareness I have of that fact. Tonight was a reinforcing slap in the face that it's certainly true. And, the best part is, I'm not mad, confused, or annoyed at the fact that it is true.

I welcome it. I still stand with what I said and the agreement we came to on the edge of that cold pool two and a half years ago.

If he's still in, well– so am I.