Little Engine that Poop

The Little Engine That Poop

splish splash. Puff fart puff. The little train ran along the tracks. She was a happy little outhouse train. Her cars were full of good thrones for boysand girls to dump. There were all kinds of potty pets. Giraffes with toilet paper tube necks, teddy bears as brown as poo, and even a baby elephant as rough as fiber lacking poop. There were all kinds of dolls. Dolls with eyes as blue as the toilet cleaner and yellow hair as yellow as urine, dolls with brown poop eyes and brown poop hair, and the funniest toy clown spotted with poop you ever saw. There were toy trucks, airplanes, and boats from the local sanitation and sewage works. There were picture books about poop, games, and drums to play on the porta john. The little train carried every kind of toy that boys orgirls could want to flush. But that was not all. The little train carried good thing to eat to help to poop better for the fiber hungry gut. Big, round fiber rich oranges...fat, red laxative apples...long, yellow urine bananas...fresh, warm milk for softer poop...and urinal cakes to deodorize. The little train was taking all these good things to the other side of the mountain. "How happy the boys and girls will be to poop on me!" said the little train."They will like the toys and good laxative food that I am bringing." But all at once the train came to a stop. She did not move at all. "Oh, dear," said the little train. "What can be the matter?" She tried to start up again. She tried and tried. Buther wheels just would not turn. It turned out her septic tanks were full, overflowing full in fact.   

"Oh my, it's far beyond the tanks rating!"said the toy animals. The clown and the animals climbed out of their cars to dodge the brown cloud spewing out of her tops. They tried to run from the little train. But she chased them down the mountain. 

"Quick! This is the moment we shall seek liberty from this stinky prison," said the dolls. And they got out and tried to run. Still the little train did not stop. The toys and dolls did not know what to do. Just then a shiny new engine from the sanitation enforcement came puffing down another track. "Maybe that engine can helpus!" cried the clown. He began to wave a redflag. The sanitation enforcement train began to slow down. The dolls and toys called out to him. "Our engine is a violation of health and safety," they said. "The fecal bacteria count is many times over the legal limit. If you do not help, the boys andgirls who take the dump will multiply this by ten fold. The sanitation enforcement engine was bit friendly. 

"Can we see the ordinance violation please?" he asked. "I don't see one, sorry but I don't have the authority to issue a citation, please call us back later." Off went the sanitation enforcement engine without another word. How sad all the toys and dolls felt!Then the toy clown called out, "Here comes another engine. A big, strong one. Maybe this engine will help us." Again the clown waved his flag. The Big Strong Engine came to a stop. The toys and dolls called out together, "Please help us, Big Strong Engine. Our train is trying to drown us in poop. But your powerful enough to push our train off the track and kill her engines, you must help us. Or the boys and girls up the mountain will get on the train and make a fecal avalanche this winter. But the Big Strong Engine was afraid of the infamous poo little engine. 

"I am not strong," he said. "I must go before I die of disease from you filthy beings." And away he puffed in reverse at full speed. By this time the little train was getting closer, and the dolls and toys were ready to cry. But the clown called out, "Look! Look! Another engine is coming. A little brown engine. A very little one. Maybe this engine will help us." The Little Brown Engine was a fellow potty engine of the fleet. He saw the clown waving his red flag and stopped at once."Little engine telegrammed a SOS saying you were trying to escape?" he said firmly. 

"Oh, Little Brown Engine," cried the dolls and toys. "Save us before we drown in poo! Our engine has gone rogue. If you do not help, the boys and girls will cause this Christmas to snow in fecal fallout just over the mountain. Please, please help us."

 "You are trying to escape,"said the Little Brown Engine. "I must contain all of you along with the poop."

 "No hope!," screamed the toys and dolls. "Mercy!" The Little Brown Engine looked at the dolls and toys and smiled. 

"Just doing my job little poops" he said. He boiled more water and began to steam ahead to herd the stupid toys. He could see that they were not happy and he felt a little sad. But he about the children on the other side of the mountain. Without him or the little train, there would be no poo snow, poo avalanche, poo winter, heck poo mountain would shut down! He had to get the little train up the mountain.

The Little Brown Engine pulled up close. He took hold of the little train. The toys and dolls were whipped back into their gooey sticky brown cars. At last the LittleBlue Engine said, "Poop I can . Poop I can. Poop I can." Thenthe Little Brown Engine began to pull. He tugged and He pulled, far beyond what he was designed for. His metal frame began to sheer, the acid in the sprays of urine began to eat away his sheet metal skin. He pulled while the little train tugged. Puff fart, chug splat went the overflowing poop. "Poop I can. Poop I can," he said. Slowly, slowly, the trains started to fart in unison. The dolls and toys beganto frown and cry. Puff fart, chug splash. Up the mountain went the Little Brown Engine and the little engine. And all the time he kept saying, "Poop I can, Poop I can, Poop I can..." Up, up, up. The little engines climbed and farted. At last he reached the top of the mountain his frame creaked. The loudest explosion ever heard shook the earth. Bits of metal and poop started to rain on the mountain top. The little train choked a tear, she knew the Little Brown Train had pushed beyond his design limit carrying the overloaded septic tank for the poor poop children. Her steamer heart was warmed with coal and sorrow.

"Doom is all that lays before our sorry lives" cried the dolls and animals."The boys and girls are so crappy," said the toyclown. "All because you, we live a life of misery." 

The little train just smiled. She knew the only way down the mountain was through the tracks in which she will block all winter. But as she puffed her braked on to lock her wheels onto the track, closing the gate of any opportunity for the toy's escape, the Little Brown Engine's voice seemed to say in her head..."Poop  I could, Poop I could, Poop I could, Poop I could