Raven's Will

44. Shadow and Ghost

Jett stared up at the narrow basement window and shivered.

It was a small square of light that represented sunshine, open skies and the freedom to fly wherever he wished. It had been a long time since he'd been outside. And even longer since he'd had the wings to fly. To regain these things had begun to feel like a distant dream, something to long for but never quite grasp.

Yet now that he had both, now that he'd been back outside, he couldn't stop thinking of dim tunnels and concrete walls. There were no skies underground. Nor was there any open space. It'd been dark and musty and suffocating, but...

It'd been safe.

He curled his fingers into fists, aware of the tremor running through them. By clenching them tight, he was able to stop the trembles, but it did nothing for the unease churning in his gut. This wasn't right.

He'd gotten his suit back. He'd gotten his wings back. And now he felt more whole than he'd been in a long time. But something was still off. Missing. Or maybe it was broken - what kind of flyer felt better in a hole than in the sky?

Jaw tightening, he spun away from the window. Its light cast across the floor in a stretched rectangle, interrupted only by his own shadow. It shone past him, around him, and with a jolt, he suddenly was swaying in a doorway, blinded by searchlights and surrounded by Kairg.

A rescue mission gone wrong. Poisoned. Twisted. Pale eyes peering through shocked shadows. A fierce woman bleeding on the floor-

I didn't do that.
Caught.
It wasn't me!
Trapped.
I would never -!

Memories, he recognized, and the admission scraped him raw. It was almost too much. He closed his eyes. Gritted his teeth. Breathed. In. Out. One, two, three. It helped a little, though it didn't get rid of them. The memories never went away, not even when he hid them deep within the ice.

Though he was tempted to sink back into that cold place, he didn't, because doing that meant he'd have to leave Raven behind. And that awful realization made it a little easier to push through, even though he felt as shaky as a newborn foal.

When Jett ventured deeper into the basement a few minutes later, he found the trapdoor that led into the tunnels. There were entrances like this hidden all over Shann Tei, though half of them would lead to dead ends. The other half fed directly into the maze-like system, and although Jett was starting to understand a little of how the tunnels worked, he knew only a mad, twisted mind could fully make sense out of the whole thing.

Like Raven's, he thought, lips twitching but failing to smile. Or Seb. And probably the majority of the Forgotten. Live in the dark long enough, and you started to see things a little differently than the rest.

Just inside the entry tunnel, Raven waited. He stood like a shadow shrouded in silence, with arms folded and hood bowed. It wasn't until Jett approached that he came to life. That great hood lifted, turned toward him, and a calm voice drifted forth.

"How did it go?"

Jett shrugged. He wasn't sure how to answer that. Instead, he watched the dark flyer out of the corner of his eye. Even without moving, the man exuded a quiet confidence. He was a shadow that never wavered, that never shrank no matter how little or how much light touched him.

A single bulb hung on the wall between them, supported by a power line that ran into the depths of the tunnel. It diffused a yellow glow too weak to do much about the darkness of the tunnel, but it was more than enough to reflect off of Jett's pale suit.

Jett glanced down at himself, feeling oddly conspicuous. If Raven was a shadow, he thought, then he himself was a ghost.

"Jett?" Raven took a single step closer. It brought him nearer the light, and it washed some of the shadow away from him. "What happened?"