The Spirit of Christmas

Chapter 1

The Sound of her laboured breathing and the fast paced movement of her chest were the first things that Charlotte noticed as she woke from the dark abyss of slumber.

With her eyes firmly shut and hands trembling, she grasped tightly at the sheet in hopes that the pain of those dreams would somehow go away.

They didn't.

In a second, she was practically hyperventilating as she laid there constricted. Not able to do anything, not able to help herself, just as it always was.

The sun had been peeking over the top of the hills as Charlotte went for a morning walk. It was among the few things that she actually liked about Seattle, the beautiful scenery.

That didn't make up for the pouring rain that they frequently experienced though.

Most days she felt as if nature was mocking her, forever being a pathetic fallacy in itself and she hated that.

There was no getting away, Charlotte thought, her speed picking up at the barrage of thoughts that continued to swirl around in her head.

Sometimes it was just all too much and she wished that she'd eventually escape from it all.

Things just didn't feel as easy as they once did.

~ ~

"Aren't you gonna make a wish list and send it to Santa?" Lily, Charlotte's niece asked, a pencil in hand as she glanced up at her with wide eyes.

As she stared at her with those innocent eyes of hers, Charlotte couldn't help but to imagine how she'd feel when the truth about Santa, the North Pole and Christmas presents were finally revealed to her in a few years to come.

"Not this year hun," she replied before tossing back a glass of white wine.

Frowning, the child happily returned to her activity of sloppily scribbling down her wishes, squealing as if it was the most interesting thing to do.

Peering over her glass, she scrunched her face at the undecipherable words that stretched unevenly across the paper.

Well, she guessed that a kid could dream. Besides, she was a bit jealous of her.

She had everything that a person could ever want; effortless happiness, a warm and cozy family and most importantly hope.

She had everything, everything that Charlotte so desperately desired.

Sighing, Charlotte peered around at the room. It was still a week before Christmas but the decorations were already up and about, dazzling the eyes of everyone.

The fireplace was well lit and bright red socks filled with candy cane were placed high above the flickering flame. Despite, the warm glow of the fire and the cheerful decorations that had filled the room, it did nothing to chase away the coldness that she was feeling inside.

Amidst all of this Christmas spirit something was missing.

The thought caused Charlotte to shrink even further into her seat as her breathing got sharper and her head started to swoon.