All I Wanted Was You

Epilogue

Josh's POV 

We had the privilege of taking the plane while our things were being carried by a bunch of huge trucks. So, no fifteen-hour drive. Yay.  

I watched as the huge and confusing country passed underneath us, slowly and carelessly. I felt like every little kilometre we crossed was another stab in the gut. I forced myself not to make up crazy stories in which Hayley and I would be reunited somehow-like the one where she had snuck up to my house the previous night and zipped herself inside my luggage and she would pop out of if happily once we reached our destination-but I couldn't help it. I wanted to hope. I was the only thing that could keep me sane. 

Then again, it didn't really matter whether I was sane or not anymore. 

We moved back into our old house, but it felt so different now. I didn't feel like I was going back to the place where I'd spent my whole childhood. I felt like I was going somewhere new all over again. But I was too tired, too worn out to care.  

I didn't care that I couldn't recognize my own home anymore. I didn't care that I had to go back to that stupid secondary school where everyone knew who I was-you know, that fat creep people usually try to avoid. All I knew was that I had to hold on. To life. To anything. Just a little more.  

Why? I didn't know. But something told me there was still something to live for. Some stupid little reason at the back of my mind that I had forgotten over time but that was now the main reason for my existence.  

It took me a while before I finally figured out what it was. And then, on the first day in my new\/old school, I remembered.  

"Josh!" 

I jumped, looking around me frantically for whoever might have said that. I almost let it go, telling myself that it must've been some other Josh, but then I saw him. There he was, with his weird smile and his dumb haircut, staring at me like I was the eighth wonder of the world. "You're back, man!" 

Wow, you don't say. "Hey, Matt," I said as nicely as I could.  

He still seemed stunned to see me. "What are you doing here?" 

"My parents disowned me and I live with our old neighbours now." He gawked. I laughed in front of his confused expression. "I'm just kidding man! My dad decided to move back, that's all." 

"Oh." Well, his sense of humour hadn't changed. What I mean is, he still didn't have one. "Well that's great!" Yep. Awesome. The smile that had grown on his face vanished again. "What's wrong?" 

Should I tell him? I didn't really want to talk about her anymore. I didn't want to think about her. I wanted to forget her, pretend she didn't exist. "I dunno, I guess I just got used to that place..." 

"Yeah, it must suck to be thrown around like that." Oh yeah. "Well, you wanna know what I've been doing?" he asked eagerly. 

Anything to get my mind off her. "Sure." 

"I got a girlfriend!"  

I raised my eyebrows. "You? A girlfriend?" I scoffed. "Wow, I really DID fall into another dimension." 

He frowned. "That was a joke, I don't have a girlfriend." Oh. 

Haha. 

What?  

"Well, um..." Awkward. "Ok." 

He stared at me for a second, and then he burst out laughing and I couldn't help but do the same. Yep, same old Matt.  

Wow, THIS was the reason for my existence? That thought made me laugh even harder, and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt good.  

Huh. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. 

Hayley's POV 

I felt bad for leaving Josh like that. Really, really bad. I should've said a proper goodbye. I should have kissed him one last time. Ugh.  

But now he was gone, and I was better off just forgetting him. It was so hard, but at least I had some moral support from Erica and my mom. They both told me stuff like "There's plenty of fish in the sea" or "You're pretty enough to get any guy you want"-ok, that one was really cute, especially coming from Erica-but I didn't feel so much better. It was so much harder than the first time I'd left him, because now I had no hope. None at all. I would never see him again. It was a fact.  

Time still passed though, and as it did I started feeling a bit better. The months flew by and with each second Josh slowly left my mind. As for my heart, I didn't know if I still had one.  

I finished the year with a higher grade than I ever had. It was enough to make me happy for the whole summer. I saw my old friends-Jack and a few girlfriends-and life just continued. Until finally, I realised it wasn't so hard anymore. The pain had eased. I was ok.  

I did have a heart after all.  

By then I found it funny how much pain a stupid little teenage relationship had caused me. Oh well, that's how youth is. At least that's what my mom said.  

But now I was ready to start over. I was ready to try again, and maybe this time it would end better. Maybe this time I would spend more time laughing and less time hurting. Besides, I was an experienced girl now, haha. Ok, not THAT experienced, but it was better than nothing.  

Oh yeah, I was ready to start from scratch. To forget Josh Ramsay once and for all. 

So when Jack took my hand for the first time, I didn't pull away.