The Winter Boy's Novel (Xingyun FanFic)

Chapter 12

-and the next thing I knew, Chongyun's lips were on my cheek. I was stunned. He pulled away, blushing so completely that he looked like he'd been dyed red. I was sure I looked the same way. "S-Sorry... there was... uh, mistletoe and... I, uh... it seemed... l-like it should've..." he stammered, losing words one after the other. I couldn't even make out the words. It sounded like I was choking. "S-Sorry... X-Xing... qiu..." Chongyun stuttered. I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. I was so confused and so happy and angry at the same time, I had no idea what to say. "C-Chong...yun..." I finally managed to stammer. The wind blew my hair into my face. The snow blew further away as more came down. It was in that moment that I started to wonder; who was Chongyun to me?

The two of us walked back in silence. I felt so lost. I sat on my bed and resumed Serpent-Drake of Tokoyo no Kuni once we arrived back home on my bed. "Look... Xingqiu... I'm really sorry. It just kind of all happened and I lost track of myself..." Chongyun said. He didn't step over the border of our room, from his side to mine. He only stood at the edge. I pretended not to hear him. I knew I should say something. But I didn't know what and I felt I should. I needed to. I couldn't have another wall between me and another person. It's happened too many times before.

"It can happen, my liege." I kept it short and forgiving since I knew I'd say something to mess it all up if it were to be any longer. "C-Can I..." He trailed off, but I knew what he was going to say. I nodded. He walked over slowly and sat on the opposite side of my bed. We were both staring away from each other. "I can make it up to you. I'm sorry." Chongyun was apologizing profusely. Too profusely. "You don't need to. I'm... sorry I acted coldly. I was overwhelmed and didn't react properly." "You acted coldly?" He laughed. "I thought I did..." "No, you just got all spaced out and really dazed-looking. Not cold at all." The ice that shattered was now freezing over again. "H-Hey... can I call you... Qiu?" "Wha~!?" "Ah!!! Never mind, never mind! Forget I asked that question, I am so sorry, it was a stupid question, haha, such a stupid question, forget I asked it, did I forget to say that it was stupid?!" he laughed sheepishly with embarrassment. "You can call me whatever you'd like, my liege." "Eh...? Seriously?" "Yes. Though... I'd like to call you Yun... O-or my liege, that works as well..." I admitted. I met Chongyun's gaze. "A-Are you serious?!" "Yes." His mouth fell open a little. "Ah, er, yes! Then call me that! Call me Yun!"

That night, I felt tired. And I normally didn't. The whooperflower attack was beginning to drive me to insanity. I could go for a week without sleep and now I'm tired every three days, sometimes a little more than that. "Eh... Qiu? Xingqiu? Are you okay?" Chongyun asked. "Ah, er, yes. Just a little-" I yawned, giving it away. "Oh... yeah... I guess it is pretty late." He said. I got into my bed for the first time in a while and laid on my side, facing the window. I pulled my hands up to my chest as my thoughts wandered back to my father again. It was uncontrollable. "Xingqiu... I know what you're thinking about." Chongyun said from his bed. "Nmmmm..." "You're thinking about Him... aren't you." It wasn't a question. And I knew who Him meant. "Yeah. Him." I replied quietly. There was no reply for a minute. "Qiu... is there anything I can do to take your mind off of Him?" "I... I'm not sure." I answered completely honestly. I was tired of lying and tired of keeping everything bottled up. I was tired of everything to do with my father. Him. The one who raised me and the one who tried to kill me.

"Are you sure? I just want to help." Chongyun said. "Nmmmm... I don't know anymore. I'm sorry, Yun." "Don't apologize for what you don't know." "I... I'm sorry I'm just tired." "I get it. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'll let you sleep now." "Thanks." Sleep came easily, surprisingly. It came easily for the first time in a while. I had no memory of it. No dreams. No nightmares. No ideas or fantasizations. Just darkness. No noise. Quiet darkness. Silence.

Chongyun's POV

I think Xingqiu was just tired. Tired of everything. Tired because he couldn't sleep. Tired of his father. Tired of his father's mistakes. Tired of crying and being upset and maybe even tired of trying. Tired of his own anger and tired of his own rage. Just tired. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do for him. Maybe just let that tiredness dissolve. Let him sleep. Let him talk to his father when he needed to. Let him take his anger out whenever he needed to. Let him cry on me. Whatever he needed. I swore to myself that I'd help him. Do whatever he needed. I peered over the foot of my bed at Xingqiu. He was dozing peacefully, his dark blue hair draped over his shoulder and his hands pulled openly toward his chest. I was glad he was asleep. I think he needed it. "Sleep well... Qiu."

I was glad Xingqiu had forgiven me for the incident with the mistletoe. I... kind of enjoyed kissing him. Even on the cheek. I know it sounds weird and I don't know if he liked it, but... I enjoyed it. I tried not to think about it too much though. Because, yeah. It definitely was in the category of weird. I checked the clock. It was four minutes until midnight. 240 seconds. 240000 milliseconds. I stared at the clock until midnight. Funny how time never stops. It just keeps going. It would probably keep going even if the world itself ended. And the world itself was a mystery.

In the morning, I sat on the edge on Xingqiu's bed and traced my finger lightly over his cheek. "Morning, Qiu." I whispered. He murmured something in his sleep and his hand moved a bit. I tried not to laugh as I got up and grabbed a popsicle from my ice box. "I didn't... think you would... that makes it... really awkward..." Xingqiu mumbled, stirring as his hair fell into his face. I smiled silently at myself as I sat on my bed and wrapped myself up in the blanket Qiu had given me for Christmas as I watched him stir. His eyes slowly opened and he yawned without moving at all. He brushed his hair out of his face and reached for his ribbon to tie it back with. "Hey, welcome to the land of the living." I joked. He smiled tiredly at me and yawned, tying his hair back. "Thanks, Yun." He called me Yun. That was such a cute nickname and I was so excited when he admitted that he'd wanted to call me that. It made my heart beat at least twenty times faster.

"Hey... Yun... I think I want to talk to Him." Xingqiu said suddenly. "Er... like... today?" "Eh.... I..." He sighed, clearly having been thinking about this for a long time. "Yes. Today." I completely supported that. I was also anxious to see how XIngqiu would handle it, and excited to YELL AT HIS BASTARD OF A FATHER! Eh... sorry... I'm a little mad at the guy still. But I think Xingqiu needed to yell a lot more than I did. I looked at Xingqiu. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" "Yeah. I mean... no. But I've been putting it off for so long and I know I have to do it eventually." There was a silence for a while. "I support that. And yell your head off at him for me." I said. Alarm spread across his face, but it quickly faded into relief. And he hugged me. I didn't see it coming. But he did. "Thank you. I will. I'll try." "No. You will."