The Winter Boy's Novel (Xingyun FanFic)

Chapter 13

Xingqiu's POV

Why was my father's house so much bigger than I remember it being? "Hey. Look. You've got this." Chongyun said. My hand shook as I opened the door. "Listen. Qiu. Xingqiu. I believe in you. Yell at him as long as you want. I'll be here if you need me. But you won't. You can do this." he said. "Thank you. So much." I replied. I found my father at his desk. And he glared at me as I sat down in front of him.

"So why are you here, Xingqiu?" My father asked. I swallowed. Just think of Chongyun. Chongyun is right there. "To talk to you." I think both of us were surprised with my volume and confidence. I never saw it coming. "About what?" "Just the way you've been treating me. You're a horrible father." "What makes you say that?" "All of the times you've left me alone and ditched me and told me to live without you. When you tried to kill me." My anger was already starting to spill out. "Though I had reasons for those." My father seemed calm. But I knew I was getting to him. "What reasons? Are they... decent, or your usual phony excuse?" "Don't talk to me like that." "Ha. And you told me never to speak to you again. Now you're telling me to talk to you in a specific way. How foolish." He stood up and slammed his fists on the desk.

"DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!" "OH, STARTED ON WHAT, HAVING ANOTHER SON AND DESTROYING THEIR LIFE?! I DON'T THINK SO!" "YOU'RE JUST A FREAK!" "AND YOU'RE A BASTARD WHO DOESN'T CARE FOR ANYONE BUT HIMSELF! THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO YOU IS YOUR FREAKING SELF!" "DON'T SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER WITH THAT TONGUE, YOUNG MAN!" There was silence. "Dad... Father... Look. I'm tired. Really tired. Tired of you and your freaking antics and your freaking self. I'm tired of everything you've done and I'm tired of running from it. Tired of CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A FATHER WHO CARES FOR ME AND LAYING IN BED, TRYING TO FALL ASLEEP, BUT NO! THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS MY BITCH OF A FATHER! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE! IN FACT, THE LAST TIME I BELIEVED IN ANYTHING WAS THE FIRST TIME I MET CHONGYUN! I'M TIRED OF TRYING SO HARD TO GET THROUGH TO YOU AND I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO COPE EVERY DAY, WONDERING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO TRY AND FREAKING KILL ME AGAIN!" "WHOEVER THAT IS, WATCH YOUR TONGUE, BOY, YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE SPEAKING TO." "NO, I DON'T. A SWINE, A FREAKING BASTARD, A DEAF FATHER WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO THEIR CHILD?! YOU COULD'VE BEEN BETTER!" "BUT I WASN'T AND THAT WAS MY CHOICE. MY WISH. MY OWN DOING."

"I can't believe you. To think I was raised by such a bitch. To think you were my hero the first years of my life. I can't believe you." I didn't realize tears were running down my face. My hands were shaking. I was shaking. "I... I was your... hero?" He practically fell back into his chair. I hated to admit it. But he once was. "Yeah. Before. Way before." The silence was inevitable. It had been all my life. Nothing can be avoided forever. "Before." my father whispered. I inhaled sharply, my breath hitching in my throat. "Yeah. Before." "Before it." "Before it." "The day..." "... You tried to kill me." "Before." "Yeah. Before." "This is all my fault. I know. Before it. I know now it's all my fault." "Yeah." "Yeah. I needed a cover." "A COVER!? I"M JUST A COVER STORY FOR YOU, THEN!?" "YES! THAT WAS THE ENTIRE POINT OF IT ALL!" "Wow. You're worse than I thought you were. You're a demon."

The next silence was long and drawn out. Part of me was waiting for him to reply. The other part was dying to tell him how much of a bastard he was. And yeah. I was scared of Him. Terrified. So many realizations were going on here. "Call me whatever you want. I know what I am. I can't back up any further. You've got me cornered, Xingqiu. You've played your cards well." I saw him smile for a tenth of a second. "I can't do anything else. You know everything that you should. And things that you shouldn't. You win. I'm a bitch. Aren't I. I'm out of trump cards. You pulled it off. You know my secrets. But I still know yours. And I won't forget them. Ever."

Chongyun's POV

Xingqiu brushed past me quickly, looking very ready to leave. I wasn't sure what had happened in there, but he looked disturbed. "Qiu, what happened?" I asked. "I... can we go first?" he mumbled. "Y-Yeah." I had to run to keep up with him until we got home. "Are you okay? Did He do something?" I asked. Xingqiu sat down at his desk and laid his head on it miserably. "He used me." he mumbled. "I was his cover story. This is just great." My breath hitched in my throat. If this man wasn't a bitch before, he was now. And of course, I couldn't think of anything to say because Xingqiu just looked so miserable. After a minute, I just said the obvious. "I am so sorry, Xingqiu." I breathed. "Am I... that useless...?" His desk was wet. Oh my God. I need to give his father a freaking beating right now. Like, right now. "No, no, you're not. He..." I didn't know how to put it into words. I knew what to say but my voice failed me. Words failed me. Xingqiu also seemed at a loss. He pulled a book off of his bookshelf and started to read it, but I knew his heart wasn't in it. He was distracted. Skipping over things. I felt like I should tell him something, to reassure him everything was okay and that his father was a jerk. But I didn't know how to.

Xingqiu suddenly dropped his book and buried his head into it, sobbing uncontrollably. I rushed over to his side, having wandered off to my side of the room. "Xingqiu, It'll be okay... Your dad's just a freaking bastard and it's not your fault. None of this is your fault." I said, trying to be as comforting as I could be. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he sobbed. "Please, stop saying that. This isn't your fault." "I'm sorry... Yun... sorry..." I was literally running on empty right now. I had no words and no ideas whatsoever. "Qiu... Are you... tired at all? I... I mean... I just want to make sure I can help you if you are." I said. "I..." he hesitated. "Yeah. I guess I am. Sorry, Yun." "Don't be. Just lay down and I can read to you or rub your back or something." I said. I guided him to his bed, him seemingly dazed and not very willing to do anything. "Thank you..." he murmured. He seemed really depressed. I started rubbing his back gently when he laid down, but I heard him sobbing quietly. I hated that I couldn't do more.

"Ah... Qiu...?" I asked. There was no reply. I think he was sleeping soundly. I got up and rummaged through my stuff, munching on a popsicle that Xingqiu had gotten me for Christmas. It tasted like a frozen candy cane. That's when I realized that Xingqiu wasn't asleep. He was just spacing out. But I let him be. It was probably better for him. The next morning, I think he finally kind of snapped out of it.

"Ah~!? Er... sorry I kinda broke down like that, Yun..." he said, bolting upright. I shook my head and licked my popsicle. "Did you scream at Him for me?" I asked. He laughed nervously. "Probably more than I should have," he admitted. "I don't think so. I wanna yell my head off at that bastard." "You can. If you want." I was going to reply to his absentminded remark when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it..." I said. "Ah... er... Xingqiu... this is for you."