To dance under sparkling lights

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Narrator's POV

It's been two days since the band split off from one another and they haven't talked to each other since. Each of them misses the others, but they're too stubborn to admit their mistakes. If they don't get over themselves soon though, they'll lose each other quite possibly forever...

Julie's POV

I feel bad for kicking Reggie out of the band. Did I even kick him out? I don't know anymore. I've been locked in my apartment for two days, unable to leave because I'll get bombarded by the press if I try. Everyone's buzzing about what happened the other day and I don't know what to do, to be honest. I want to apologize, but I don't think it will make much of a difference either way. I might as well stay inside, it saves me the time of pushing past the press, plus I don't waste any energy on a useless fantasy. Maybe that's what Christmas will be now too, a useless fantasy of me dreaming of Christmases past.

When I was ten, I had the most magical Christmas ever. I mean that. I got a keyboard so I could start messing around with different versions of the piano that was out in the studio. At least, that's what my mom told me. As the years went on, I learned why she really got it for me. She wanted to teach me all about the piano and its different counterparts before she died. Because once she was gone, that was it. And when she did go, my entire world turned to ash around me. Christmas was never the same after that. Even when I first met Alex, Reggie, and Luke, I didn't want to think about how much pain I would cause for them if I showed any sadness. So I did my best not to.

They weren't as oblivious as I was hoping for though, and found out. That was on Christmas Eve. They stayed with me all night and opened up to me about their hardest Christmases. I don't know if this sounds any kind of messed up, but them telling me about what they had to go through growing up kinda made me feel better inside. It comforted me to know that I wasn't alone in feeling pain during the Christmas season. That next day on Christmas, I felt so much better and actually felt happy about the holiday again, and what's better, I think the guys did too.

Alex's POV

I shouldn't have yelled at Reggie or used his PTSD against him. In front of the press, no less! Even worse, I think the band's gone for good. What if it was a mistake to continue fighting with them for so long over such trivial stuff? What if I never see my best friends again? I guess I can't really call them my best friends if I was so quick to yell all their issues in their faces without a second thought. I was so mean to everyone, if only I'd kept my mouth shut like Reggie tried so hard to do. Maybe we wouldn't be in this as deep as we are. I could never go talk to anyone though, it wouldn't do me any good, in fact, it would only make everything worse. I don't wanna keep hurting my friends. The best thing to do is just to stay away.

Maybe if I could just fix myself, I could be able to fix everything else too. If I could just change and be normal, then maybe everything else would go back to being normal too.

Growing up, I always felt like I needed to hide my sexuality just to be accepted by the general public. I felt like in order to be looked at like a normal person, I had to actually be a "normal person," or in other words, I felt like I had to be straight. But I couldn't do that. One year for Christmas my friends gave me a gift that reflected my sexuality. They were the only people I'd revealed my true self to. My parents found out, and I was kicked out immediately. From that point on, I had to stay with my aunt an hour away from everything, my school, and friends. I never celebrated Christmas again because of the memories of that terrible time.

My first Christmas with Julie, I kept to myself and stayed out of the celebration. I did it for a couple Christmases after that too. Eventually, Julie got me to open up about what I was feeling and she helped me deal with the pain. The following Christmas, I surprised everyone by getting gifts for them all and deciding to take part in the holiday. I even surprised myself because I didn't think I'd be able to move away from the pain of that Christmas so many years ago.

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