Xoxo - y/n Carter

4. 'I've been replaced'

A/N Happy holidays

Natasha pov

"Come on in" i say and Yelena comes into my bedroom. "Need anything?"

"Nope, just came to tell you Maria is here" she says and just stands there, waiting for my reaction.

"Is Wanda with her?"

"Not that either" she answers but instead of going on as usual she stands in the door for my room for a few quiet minutes, watching me pack the last things.

"Anything more you wanted to say?" i ask, finally turning towards her.

"Lunches ready" and with a smile she then leaves. I sign and let out a small laugh at her. Making everything so dramatic, not that i am... was any different. Guess that's what happens when you live with four kids for a year, and yes i'm counting Clint as a child.

I decided to come down anyway and find them all sitting by the table and eating hotdogs.

"I saved some for you incase your hungry" Laura says with a smile, nodding to the kitchen.

"Thanks' but i'll eat when we get there" i simply say and then meet the eyes of someone i should be so mad at but i'm not. Well i am but not enough to actually act mad towards her.

"Hey Nat, it's been awhile" Maria says, getting ip from her seat.

"Yeah it has" instead of a handshake she gives in and hugs me, kissing me on the cheek and i can't help but kiss her's as well. But as soon as we let each other go i can't stop myself from saying. "Well it's a little hard when the other one is in Europe"

"Okay, let's chill down and eat so we can leave" Clint says before anyone can say or do anything. Okay, so maybe i am a little bit mad. But i've had my time to get over it, and i know why they left so its okay. Just needed to get it out in words to one of them.

"I'll load our things into the car" i say, turning to go back upstairs.

"I'll help" Maria says and follows me. I don't argue since i know it's unnecessary right now. We don't talk as we get mine and Clints bags down to the car.

"So... how was Europe" i ask, not really wanting to know what i missed. Wanda and Maria wasn't even that close, still they just left in the middle of the night a week after the funeral with nothing but a note and a goodbye to Pepper. But i get it, i reminded her to much of you, she does to, but she's like fifteen years younger so i don't blame her reaction.

"You don't really wanna know do you?" she answers, seeing right through me.

"No i don't, but i do wanna know how Wanda is"

"Well she's better then Tony as least"

"He's still numb, isn't he?"

"Yeah, i think the only words he actually said when he came up for dinner yesterday was hi and goodnight" she says with a sad smile closing the trunk.

"Can you blame him? She is like his daughter"

"No of course now, bu it's been over a year since she died... i'm sorry" she cuts herself off to catch herself before she says anything else. "What i mean is that we all need to start to move on it we're gonna get anywhere in life. It's what she would have wanted"

"I know, but for some of us it just takes a bit longer than others. Even though i must admit it's weird that you can move on so fast, the last thing you gave her was heartbreak"

"She forgave me" she says and i see my words where too hard as tears appear in her eyes.

"In a letter, after she died" i say but i need to talk about it, i need to get it out in the air. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it. But before i can do or say anything else, the others come out the door, and i realise i went too far with the last thing.

"Look, i told you no one would die if you left them alone" Yelena says and we all let out a laugh. But i meant what i said. We were four that actually was closest to you, to not be able to really move on completely or that fast. Me, Tony, Bucky and Wanda, the ones that your life changed the most.

"Sorry, i didn't mean it like...."

"It's okay, you did. No need to apologise for speaking the truth" Maria cuts me off and i start to realise what you actually saw in her.

"I'm still sorry, i shouldn't have said it" i say before we all get in the car. As i sit down i take up my phone to text Wanda but i immediately forget about it as i see i've gotten a text, signed by a letter. From ten minutes ago, right after we said hi.

Unknown
Hey Tasha, i've been replaced. You've found a new friend to kiss.

- y/f/l

There's only one person who i used to kiss, that was a woman. And the only person who knew it happened. But that's impossible, right? We found a body, you are dead. Still there is the text about something only you knew from a stranger.

Wanda pov flashback

I stare onto that spot on my wall that i can't really figure out if it's supposed to be there or if it's anything else. It's what i've done day in and day out the last week. I'm afraid that if i take my mind of it i'll break.

"Here, drink some water" you say, extending a glass of it to me. I don't even look at it but you're still resistant. "I will put an IV in if you don't drink it yourself Wanda"

"I'm not thirsty" i answer, without emotion. Just keep focusing on that dot, as long as i can keep the numbness i will do whatever it takes. If i don't, i admit to myself that it's real and not just a dream, a very bad dream.

"You keep saying that, your not thirsty, your not hungry, your not tired" you press the glass in my hands before continuing. "You need those things to survive"

"Maybe i don't want to"

"Well i'm not giving you a damn choice now am i, get up for Crist sake and take a fucking shower. You've been sitting here for a week and i know you're afraid to think about it because you'll break but it's exactly what you need to move on" you say but i continue to ignore you. I don't want to break, what i want no one can give me. Until you snap "Could you at least acknowledge that i'm here. Look at me Wanda"

Making me turn towards you and just as i do my mind isn't focusing on that dot. and before i know it tears are running from my eyes, my breath is hitched and your arms are around me.

End of flashback

Wanda pov

I stare at the photo album i found while i was cleaning up my room. Pepper said  i would only be in the way so i figured that i could at least clean up my room since i'll be staying here awhile. There you are, in the water with Maria. It's a picture Nat took the day they talked about during dinner yesterday.