And to Dust We Shall Return.

how to relax

‘Are you sure there’s not a code cerulean?’  Asked Mason for what felt like the fiftieth time.   

‘I’ve already told you there is.’ said Victor, ‘it’s for radiation leaks.’  

 ‘But I could have sworn that was turquoise?’

Victor gave a frustrated sigh. This conversation hadn’t been nearly so irritating when it had begun three hours ago. ‘Why do you care so much about it anyway? There are billions of code whatever’s in the regulations. Nobody uses half of them.’

‘I...overheard a couple of ensigns talking about it.’ Said Mason, hesitantly. 

‘Ah.’ said Victor. After the captain, Mason was the oldest, and most experienced officer on the ship. A fact that he never tired of reminding the younger ensigns whenever they were about to try something he didn’t approve of. The idea that they might know something that he didn’t would no doubt bother him a good deal. 

‘I wouldn’t worry about it.’ Said Victor, doing his best to placate him. ‘There probably isn’t a code a cerulean. It’s probably just some stupid joke they made up for the academy tests. You know, to check the cadets are paying attention. Right Mason?…..’ He swiveled around in his chair, to find his esteemed officer scrutinizing a copy of the union handbook. 

‘…. Mason..?’

‘AHA! He said, prodding the book triumphantly. ‘It says here code cerulean is only to be used in the event of-‘ 

But before he could finish, there came a whining, screeching sound, like hundreds of motors powering up, and the lights began to flicker.

‘-Localized power failure….’

‘What the…!’ Victor exclaimed, staring at him.
‘Don’t look at me!’ Mason protested, raising his hands in surrender. ‘All I did was quote the manual!’

The whining grew louder. But Victor could recognize it now.  It was the sound the ship made when it was about to jump into FTL. He glanced down at his console. Sure enough the ships hyper drive had powered up. But the calibrations...they were all wrong. Frantically he tried to shut the engines down, but the controls seemed to be frozen. No button or switch had any effect.  Suddenly his console changed to the navigation screen and coordinates, unknown and untouched by Victor, began to load.

‘We’re changing course!’ He cried.

‘Well you’re the helmsman!’ Barked mason. ‘Change it back!’

Victor thumped the side of the console, in a last ditch attempt to get it to do something. Anything. ‘I’m trying, but the controls aren’t responding.’ He mashed the buttons desperately but it was no use. He took a deep breath, and sighed. There was only one thing left he could try.
Though it was, he was certain, a very stupid idea. He took the tip off his thumb, to reveal a data port, and jammed it in the slot of his console.
The whining of the engines reached a crescendo, as a shower of sparks burst from the helm, flinging Victor backwards. And with a crack, like lightening striking a church spire, the ship was plunged into darkness.  Only the main viewsceen remained lit. And on it, was a very unfamilar sky.

‘Victor!’ Said mason urgently. ‘Victor are you alright?’
Victor groaned, and tried to focus, but his ocular implant only fed back corrupted, glitching images. ‘WH4T//?? HapPeNDD?’ he stuttered, struggling to get up.

‘I don’t know kid.’ Said mason. Looking at the planet that now loomed above them on the view screen, like a giant red streaked marble. ‘But I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.’

 ‘At TTtt$%TimesLL like TTTthis, I F&%%8ING H4tE Be11nGG A CYBOGGG.’ Said Victor, gasping. Then he slumped back onto the floor, and fell silent.